Rivers Rescue (River's End #9) Page 15

  Brianna instantly banished the unfounded, dark, gossipy doubts from her head. No. Finn wasn’t like that. Nothing like Dawson or Tyrell or any other version of a guy. At least, the ones she’d run into over the years. He wasn’t using her like a piece of pretty fluff to bang and brag about. He was way beyond that. He felt more. He understood that she was real and honest and full of intelligent thoughts and tender feelings towards him, as well as everything else. She mattered to him. All of her. Right?

  Why? Because she could finally manage to articulate it?

  No. Images of loneliness and horror when she thought about what Finn had to live with, overwhelmed her with compassion. Only with her heart full of care, could she manage to crawl inside his bed naked.

  But what if he was strictly out for a bang?

  And she’d provided the perfect chance by sneaking into his place naked without first even having a conversation about this.

  The trauma caused by his family’s death and subsequent deafness left him with no one. She thought they connected… So what? Did he suddenly need her? No. Well, maybe.

  But she liked being with him. She hoped he was deeper than that. Her racing mind had all kinds of inane conversations and warnings and conclusions and doubts. They occupied about three minutes of the dreaded silence. Brianna struggled to find a word or sentence, something to indicate how she felt about what happened and what to simply say about it. She was the polar opposite of Finn. She talked and over talked everything to death. She analyzed, argued, persuaded and dissected every subject from every angle, but now, with something as intense as this felt? The words on her tongue burned and she longed to release them. Emotions were fueling her thoughts, and the need for her to express them, and convey them to Finn became nearly irresistible.

  Her fear this time kept her mouth closed.

  Shutting her eyes, she thought maybe she talked too much. Words were overused and overrated. She savored the way he clutched her, even now, and the depths of her feelings seemed reflected in his gaze, hot enough to singe her skin. Those things spoke volumes. For once in Brianna’s life, perhaps words weren’t necessary. Silence seemed to make Finn’s life better now, right?

  Turning her head, the words remained lodged in her throat. Setting her lips on his, she let the kiss speak for her heart. Her tongue entered his mouth and he felt how much she needed him. She used her hands to cup his face, holding him closer and to indicate that she understood him, and wanted him. Her body was pressing into his, telling him, it’s you. I want you. I care about you. Even, I’m falling in love with you.

  But she wasn’t ready to say those words. It was still too soon. Too much to think about now. And she was too unsure. She knew that. Even if that were all she knew.

  ****

  Getting startled from a deep sleep was an unpleasant, scary, almost traumatic event. Then to feel the weight of a human body on top of his? That was enough to send him screaming out of the bed or give him a heart attack. It wasn’t funny.

  Then to finally realize it was a naked woman hovering over him, and staring down at him, must have spiked his adrenaline.

  It took a split second for his reaction to go from surprise and fear to desire and lust. His body reacted before his brain could register what was happening. It was Brianna Starr. Perched naked on top of him.

  Why?

  That was his first thought. Why the fuck was she on top of him? Why was she naked? What was this? Her idea of a joke? Something to snicker about to her friends? She knew it had been a long time since he had sex. He never asked her or stooped to begging for something like this to occur out of the blue. From anyone. But especially not her.

  Despite being naked on top of him, her gaze drifted. Unsure and uncertain, she looked into his eyes before looking away, and back again. Only a timid “hi” was offered, and no explanation. The whites of Brianna’s eyes showed, and she seemed almost as shocked at finding herself naked on top of him as he was to find her there. What could have induced Brianna to do this? His brain was trying to make sense of it, scanning for the reason why, even if his body was reacting to hers and celebrating blissfully without caring why.

  She was exquisite. That is, what he could see of her. When she leaned back, her huge, heavy, but perky, round globes with big, bright, pink nipples tilted upwards. Her slim shoulders sloped downwards from her elegantly graceful neck and classical features. Her long hair was like a curtain falling behind her, and her beautiful skin and muscles were in perfect proportions. In short, Brianna Starr was a freaking sexual goddess and the new object of his fantasies.

  At first, he thought he was dreaming and he shook his head to wake up. He wanted to be wide awake if he were experiencing something as epic as this.

  There was no time for him to get nervous or consider the consequences. She was right there, straddled on top of him, and he could feel her wet-hot heat on his leg. She wasn’t lying before about him making her wet.

  He lost all coherent thought right about then.

  His feelings were deep, intense, white-hot, and sexual; it didn’t matter who she was or why she was there; just knowing she was made Finn happy. His body reacted as if a bomb had just been set off in his heart and penis. All that mattered anymore was the final countdown to a quick, hot, explosive release.

  For the first time, he lacked the self-conscious anxiety he usually felt around Brianna. When her nipple tightened at his touch inside his mouth and he felt the weight of those glorious tits in his hands and mouth, he watched her throw her head back with her mouth open and her eyes shut before an expression of sheer ecstasy filled her face.

  He knew he didn’t imagine that.

  Her body was naked under his and fully accessible to him… Then the gut-churning insecurity he lived with started to rear its dreadful head and he froze. Because he had no real idea what he was doing, foreplay was a new art. He’d had sex before, but very little or no foreplay. Not like this. Nothing in his past ever felt like this. Nothing at all.

  It was hard for him to stop.

  She was talking. Saying things that his eyes couldn’t interpret in his current state of arousal. Something about touching and trusting her…?

  How could he trust her? What had she done to prove how trustworthy she was? Who knew what sounds he made doing this? Who knew if she’d laugh at him later or find him freakish? What if that’s what she liked about him? Was he fulfilling some sick curiosity she might have pursued? Who knew?

  When she suddenly turned around on his chest and began leaning forward, everything went hazy. He felt her hands and mouth while his hands and mouth explored her body parts. All thought and comprehension vaporized when she started sucking him and he began doing the same to her. The swiftness of his release, the intensity, and the heat could have singed or burnt her, it was that great. It lasted so long too, and extracted more from him than he thought he could give.

  Brianna curled up while clutching him and his senses started to come back, but he didn’t know what to do or say.

  His former fears that she might have been using him, fled in an instant. She seemed unsure of herself. He knew he was not wrong about that so maybe… this was something different for her too. Because it was him? Or because he was deaf? Why’d she do it? he wondered.

  She leaned back, her eyes scouring his, traveling along the side of his face, to his chin and neck. She gripped his head and he waited. He was curious, nervous, and confused as to what she’d say. He didn’t know what to say either. What was this? Casual? Fun? Boring?

  It couldn’t feel the same way for her as it did for him.

  For Finn, it meant everything.

  Care. Heat. Emotions. His senses were fully loaded and engaged. His world was not so dark. The blissful silence remained, but for once, his body and heart seemed full and loud… He felt so much more connected.

  Because of Brianna.

  Who knew what this could mean to her?

  Popular, smiling, outgoing, fun-loving, friendly, vibrant and full
of words. Brianna. So many words, sometimes just trying to keep track of them was a huge challenge. And now, her mouth opened and shut, but she said nothing.

  That concerned him more than anything she could have said. What the hell? Did she regret it? She started it. Shit. She could not blame him. Brianna leaned down and started kissing him and his former thoughts about her strange, penetrating look were soon drowned in the subsequent roar of hormones. They seemed to be rushing everywhere from his mouth to his brain to his dick and her body was so delicious, right there, naked, warm and straddled over him.

  He suspected his groan was loud. For the first time, he didn’t worry about what came out of his mouth or his body in the form of involuntary sounds. Brianna’s perfectly clear hearing could have easily picked up sounds he couldn’t hear. Her mouth began devouring his and he was sure he couldn’t be imagining her passion that seemed directed towards him. Never mind that he found it unlike any other experience he’d ever had. Usually sex was awkward; he might have been turned on, but his partner? He never believed any of them were. Certainly not like this. He loved how tightly she held him and clutched him during her orgasm and the way she looked at him. Like she needed his body as much as he needed hers.

  Finn only had sex three times, three separate times. There was never an encore performance. And his partners were easily dismissed and ignored. He had no real attachments to any of them. Simone began as a crush but after she destroyed him emotionally, she was relegated to the equivalent of a virus. He accidentally caught it, but found the strength to resist it the next time.

  He crushed that thought when it came to Brianna. It didn’t matter now. He preferred to let this experience, with all of its extraordinary hotness and passion, replace those other cold, stupid encounters. He smiled when he thought about the difference. With the other women, all he could say was: he had an orgasm. But with those partners, the afterglow was hollow and cold. He never felt understood and that made him anxious and vulnerable. He eventually decided it was much more satisfying and safe for him to jerk off since it was much less traumatic.

  But with Brianna? Nothing compared to it.

  As she kissed him, she pressed her body and twisted it into his. She was almost wild with abandon and didn’t seem conscious of what she was doing. And he reacted in a whole new way. Without any thought or concern to what he did next, or how he moved, or what sounds he might inadvertently create, he seized the moment and responded to her.

  She released him and began saying something. He blinked to focus his eyes as his senses were temporarily flooded with hot blood and passionate feelings… Oh. She was grabbing a condom. He almost cheered for her prescience, but kept his mouth shut. When he wasn’t actively trying to monitor himself, he invariably worried over what escaped him. Not that he’d know. He stole a quick glance at her slim back as she leaned over the nightstand. She was so damn hot and beautiful, he tried his best not to blow it or turn her off.

  She set a pack of condoms on his nightstand so she’d obviously planned this and must have wanted it. Why? He couldn’t grasp her reason for it.

  She lifted the condom and put it in his hand before turning away. Was she embarrassed? He stared at her shoulder, and the profile of her boob and her face, wondering why she seemed suddenly timid? Her aristocratic looks made her the queen of anything, anywhere, at least in Finn’s opinion.

  But Brianna was also funny and quirky. She often said the wrong thing or talked too much, only to later regret it. She was very friendly. Fiercely confident. But not always sure of herself.

  That surprised Finn.

  He took the condom from her and slid it over him, taking care of business. She kept her gaze averted. Was she losing interest? Embarrassed? Or did he do something wrong?

  “Okay, we can…” he muttered or possibly yelled. Who the fuck knew right then? The keen art of monitoring his speech usage at that moment clashed with his straining hard-on and all the hormones flowing through his body. There she was, but he wasn’t sure how to proceed. He wasn’t particularly slick or experienced and that had to suck for her.

  But her body language expressed something entirely different. And body language was the one communication style Finn was an expert at reading.

  Her head turned at the sound of his voice and her gaze sought his before she lowered her eyes. She remembered to face him and did it better than most people, now that she knew. She didn’t move her head a lot either, which made it hella easier to understand her.

  “Are you mad?”

  Startled, he looked into her eyes. “Mad? Are you kidding?”

  “Your voice sounded… well, angry.”

  “More like uncontrolled. Unmonitored. I’m not feeling normal right now. It wasn’t anger.”

  Her gaze stayed on him. She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “So how do you monitor yourself? Can you do it all the time? How do you know what actually comes out of your mouth?”

  “I try to monitor my tone and loudness. I practiced a lot with speech therapists, but then again, maybe I’m fooling myself. I can maintain it—”

  Whatever he said spurred her into action and he stopped when she literally threw herself at his torso. Her arms went around his shoulders, her mouth went right on his as her chest bumped his and she straddled his lap. She took his face in her hands. “You don’t have to monitor yourself with me. Or even think about it. Just be you. Just be Finn.”

  Her forehead dropped onto his and stayed there for a long moment. He felt connected. Or at least, he believed they were. She said something, but it made him cross-eyed when he tried to read her lips. She leaned forward and touched her mouth to his in a soft, tender kiss that lasted a long moment. Staring right into his eyes, she lifted her hips and settled her legs on either side of his, glancing down before she dropped her bottom directly on him. He drew in a sharp breath as her warm, wet, hot center took him slowly, fully, all the way inside her. She held onto his shoulders, tilting her head back as an expression of ecstasy brightened her features. Her mouth opened and a sound came out. He was sure he read it right because he felt it too. He leaned forward and kissed her neck and collarbone as she ran her hands through his hair, twirling the strands. Her hips moved up and down as his followed and in moments, they wiggled and writhed together, totally synchronized and connected. Joined and alive. He hadn’t felt so good with someone, or so near to someone, ever before in his adult life.

  For a moment, their bodies were full of each other and he simply watched her. Her torso moved with natural cadence, her breasts bouncing and jiggling in the sexiest foreplay he could conjure up in his wildest fantasy. She talked a lot. Finn managed to read some of the words on her mouth, but only here and there, depending on his angle. Yes. Oh, yes. Do that. Harder. More. Finn. Finn. Oh, Finn. He liked catching her exclamations of his name on her lips.

  She was unrehearsed, exquisite and undeniably free. She couldn’t have been faking it. It amazed and dumbfounded Finn to have her react like that with him. His touch. His body. His movements. When he lifted his hips, her mouth screamed his name. It was intoxicating, sexy, and she made him feel like a fucking God.

  Something he’d never experienced before.

  Or maybe she made him feel like a fucking man. A fully fledged, seductive, sexy man who was more than able to satisfy any woman.

  He often felt like a shadow. A ghost. A silent observer. Someone that evoked pity, confusion, scorn, annoyance, or the most dreaded assumption, disabled. An asexual, disabled boy.

  Finn often felt like that.

  But not right then with Brianna. Not with this goddess writhing on top of him.

  He grabbed her and flipped her over, placing her under him. He leaned over and stared at her face for a moment while she gasped before eagerly opening her legs to him. Her hips rose up to meet his hard, deep thrusts. He held her in his arms and she stopped for a moment to reach up and touch his hair, which was hanging over his forehead.

  She smiled sweetly, softly, and sai
d his name, “Finn?”

  He couldn’t hear her. He never heard her voice. He had no idea what she sounded like. But for the first time in years, or maybe ever, he would have sworn he heard her whisper.

  Finn.

  It nearly floored him. It was as if he really heard her. Not virtually, but for real.

  For whatever reason, Brianna was really into him. Right here and now. For once, Finn got the girl.

  Thinking about that empowered him. Sex and lust. Power and performance surged through his body. He thrust deep inside her and her eyes widened as her lips parted to scream. She opened her body to him and eagerly received his thrusts. Harder and harder. Then he slowed down, twisting his hips and moving inside her in new ways. She nodded and began to pant and groan. He proceeded until her eyes closed and her body shuddered. Finn might have been hearing impaired, but what he felt was intensified in brilliance and potency. He felt her orgasm and loved the way it exploded across her facial features. He was so glad he could give her that. He was attuned enough to her that he was able to give her unbridled pleasure.

  He closed his eyes and slammed inside her receiving, soft, warm, wet, pulsating body, finally succumbing to his own powerful release.

  Then he simply buried his head against her chest and wrapped his arms around her. He held onto her as if she were a life preserver in the middle of a raging storm in the Bering Sea. In some ways, perhaps she was. Even so, he doubted she’d continue to be and would, most likely, set him adrift. Once again, he’d be alone, bobbing up and down, confused and disoriented, but basically alone. Always unsure of where he was and what was looming on the horizon.