Rivers Rescue (River's End #9) Page 14

  Bored. S-o-o-o bored. The thoughts in her head were driving her nuts. She decided to review her entire life, starting with her parents divorce, and the introduction of her father’s (then) mistress, Trinity. Now that Trinity was Brianna’s stepmother, Brianna had no trouble accepting her. The first time Brianna met Joey, she tried to date him, only to discover her mother was. She was surprised to find her mother dating a much younger man. All the craziness that now seemed so normal… She recalled her first meeting with Cami and Charlie and spending summers on the ranch, her sanctuary. At the end of every school year, Brianna knew she’d come there. At first she hated all the change in family dynamics, but she loved the ranch. And her friends who lived there. Damn. How she loved her friends. They were gone now and she missed them so much.

  She lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, and remembering. There was no background music to soften the dull persistence of silence. It was uncanny. Strange. It made her want to pace. She worked on all her accounts, feeling glad that Finn had no idea about them. He’d be against them and hate the huge presence she had on social media, especially after all the bullying and humiliation he suffered from social media. Working helped her ignore the silence. But it didn’t eradicate it.

  By dinnertime, Brianna was itching for sound. She felt like she was trapped inside her own skin. Claustrophobic. Locked up in a closed, dark, SILENT closet. Her brother disappeared and she didn’t even ask where he went. Her mom and Joey talked but she couldn’t translate a single word. No lip reading here. She finished her meal, suddenly realizing the noise thing was a major consideration for polite company. She wondered what sounds she made. GOD. To have something like that used against you; something you were totally unaware of. Sex noises? Sex made anyone vulnerable. Brianna was loud during sex, but she always knew what she sounded like. Not knowing what Finn sounded like and then having it recorded before it was shared online with Finn’s peers? She shuddered at the thoughtlessness and cruelty.

  It so sharply kept Finn in her consciousness. She thought about him for hours. Finally, at eleven o’clock p.m., she slipped the noise canceling devices off and nearly sighed with sheer gratitude and glee. In no time at all, her guilt filled her eyes with tears. Finn could never avoid it. He could never turn it back on. For Finn, the condition was eternal.

  The endless silence persisted. Long. Boring. Dull. Scary. Intimidating. Her heart nearly shattered with sadness for Finn. He lived like that all the time. Right now, he couldn’t slip his earphones off and tune in to the world around him.

  Brianna hated to think about it. She glanced outside at the dark. Surrounded by the dark and sitting in silence was how Finn would be. Reading a book or watching the TV. She quickly slipped out the back door. It was pretty late, and she didn’t want her mom or Joey to know. This didn’t involve them or anyone else. Just her and Finn.

  She raced down to the beach and snuck up towards Finn’s apartment, passing the many outbuildings on the ranch. She glanced up. His apartment was dark. And silent. Always. That’s how it always would be. Tears rolled down her cheeks. He deserved so much more from life. Had he talked to anyone today? She should have come by at some point. In her experiment, she didn’t intend to get him mad at her or think she was mocking him, since it was just the opposite. Her decision was born of caring and needing to understand his point of view. It wasn’t enough for her to read about it; Brianna required the true, genuine, real experience.

  She looked for the key Finn kept hidden in the woodpile. She found it and slipped inside his place. Naturally, she was silent. But she could hear a hum of sounds. It accentuated the difference between hearing nothing and experiencing total quiet. That difference was now more than obvious to her.

  Finn was sleeping and she saw him through the open bedroom door. The dark was sliced by a ray of moonlight and Brianna glimpsed his feet in the partial shade. She quickly entered. She knew she would startle him no matter what she did. She sighed.

  He deserved to hear everything the world had to offer. Music. Laughter. Whispered words of love. Famous orations. Joyful announcements. All those things were forbidden to Finn.

  Even if he didn’t know that.

  But Finn didn’t seem to think so. Maybe Brianna was simply projecting her discomfort at having her hearing disappear. Maybe it wasn’t that way for Finn at all.

  One thing she knew for sure was that Finn was very much alone. The abject lack of human conversation from being deaf was bad enough, but the circumstances of his life and the absence of any family or friends made it far worse.

  Brianna decided the key was communication. In any form. She could show him using her lips and her touch and her body language. Intimacy, the thing Finn probably dreaded the most, was exactly what Brianna wanted to experience with him.

  She grabbed the edge of her shirt and pulled it over her head, shaking her hair free. Nervously, she remained quiet by habit before saying out loud. “I can say this out loud because you can’t hear me. And that, Finn Alexander, breaks my heart. You can call it pity or caring or sadness but it is so much more. That’s why I’m doing this and I just hope you’ll believe me.”

  She unclasped her bra and let her breasts swing free. Slipping off her shorts and underwear, she slid them down to her ankles and stepped out of them. She took a deep breath as she swung her hair over her shoulder. She could do this. Finn deserved it. Even if he didn’t know how much. Or trust her yet. Or felt worried. She wanted him no matter what kinds of noises he might make. All of it belonged to him and nothing about Finn could ever change that or disgust her. No. Never. What kind of monster could mock Finn for making natural human noises?

  She clicked the lamp on so they could talk if he wanted to and blinked against the sudden glare. Sliding the covers back, she undertook the biggest risk of her life. That’s what it felt like anyway when she inhaled a huge breath and slid right on top of him.

  As predicted, she knew she’d scare the living daylights out of him. Apprehension jolted down her spine like a cockroach fleeing when the lights come on. Was she really doing this? Really? What about the need to proceed slowly? To ease him into it?

  Waiting for that to happen meant keeping Finn all alone in the silence for much longer. No. She couldn’t allow it. Not if she could offer him something more than silence.

  His entire body jerked and his eyes snapped open. With a grunt, he inhaled a quick breath and he recognized her in half a second. She was sitting right on top of him, straddling him, so he pretty much awoke to the sight of her naked breasts dipping down towards his naked chest. Wearing only shorts, Finn was also bare-chested. His breathing became irregular and he blinked a few times, obviously trying to make some sense of what was going on.

  “Hi,” Brianna finally said when he lay there with wide, almost terrified eyes.

  She hoped he would grab her in lust but he only eyed her with visible apprehension. She flushed. Fuck. This was all a huge mistake. But it was too late. She had to proceed with it. He finally swallowed and nodded at her, saying, “Hi.” She breathed hard, and her pulse skittered with her raw nerves.

  “I don’t want to go slow.”

  “I, uh, gathered that.”

  “See? You know. Is this okay? Please say it is…” She lifted upwards, and her breasts rose too as his eyes predictably landed on them. They practically devoured the smooth, white globes he saw displayed before him.

  “It is.” Lunging forward, his mouth found hers and he sat up, bumping her backwards a few inches. She reacted as intensely as he came after her. Their lips meshed and formed to each other. He grabbed her long hair in his fist and held her head back as his lips left hers and trailed over her neck. She eagerly gave him access to the long slide downwards. He kissed and licked and nipped as his mouth traveled lower and he bent over until his tongue licked the tip of her nipple. It was big and round, but the wetness of his mouth made it pucker and shrivel into a hard pebble. His lips wrapped around it and his tongue twirled over it as he nibbled, bit
and sucked, making her body strain for more of his tender ministrations. She sat naked on him, her wetness pressed against his thigh and she whimpered in need. He didn’t hear her but he could feel it.

  Grabbing his head, Brianna pushed on him harder.

  He let go and his hands cupped both of her breasts. They were substantial. Guys loved them. She never appreciated them more than now and she was glad when he felt her and touched and manipulated them. She let her head fall back as he played with them gently. Rising up eventually, they moved their heads back together and kissed… and kissed… and kissed. Brianna stuck her tongue deep inside his mouth and he responded equally as urgent. She groaned involuntarily and he must have felt the vibration of it. He responded and she took his hand and clasped it in hers.

  Hesitating for a moment, she tried to calm her racing blood and wild hormones, which were causing so much wetness inside her. She was so turned on, she feared it would be over before they even started. She kept her forehead on his, and he stared into her eyes. His gaze reflected his desires and needs. Both of them were heaving, which turned Brianna on even more when she realized how similarly they felt. She leaned down and pressed her lips on his. Calmer, and much softer than before, she grazed his lips with the sweetest touch of hers.

  Tucking her arms around his, she lay beside him. He turned on his side and slid his leg over hers and she let out a long sigh. He began kissing her and only lifted his face from hers long enough to kiss her neck and breasts. She let her hands drift into his hair and twirled the curly, dark strands with her fingers as his mouth worked over one and then the other nipple. She leaned into it, sighing and groaning even if he couldn’t hear her.

  Sliding his hands to her waist, Finn followed the indentation of her stomach, tracing her belly button with a finger and drawing a path straight down from there. She tensed with lustful anticipation and passion. Her knees parted and Finn kept his mouth on her breast but turned slightly to continue moving his hand downwards. He stopped when he reached her scanty pubic hair. Brianna shuddered and lifted her butt upwards, towards him and more pressure… seeking more of his hand. He went very slowly, sliding his fingers inside her and out. Nearly purring like a kitten, the hot moisture filled her and began to drip. He must have felt the wet-hot heat from her, ready to explode any second.

  Raising his hand and setting it on her thigh, he lifted his face from her. She opened her eyes and found him looking at her, then away. She touched his shoulder to talk. “What?”

  “I’m not very experienced. I don’t know what you want.”

  She smiled softly. “Don’t worry about what I want. I’ll tell you exactly what I want.”

  His expression revealed annoyance. His self-consciousness had, once again, made him feel stupid. “How?”

  She touched his shoulder and sat up, taking his hand and staring right at him. She placed his hand back over her opening, but this time, she did not timidly leave it in her pubic hair. No. She pushed his finger inside her, urging him to explore her wetness.

  Gasping with surprise, his eyes shot downwards in disbelief at what he was feeling before he raised them back up to her. “I mean, I’ll show you where I like you to touch me. It’s okay. I can teach you everything I like and you can teach me what you like. Don’t feel weird about it. Unless… you don’t like touching me?”

  His breathing escalated and a blush colored his cheeks. His visible reaction only made her wetter. It was the best aphrodisiac. Better than all the sexy talk she could imagine. “I—I like touching you,” he stumbled over his words, and this time, she doubted he realized it.

  She grinned and leaned back, moving her hips closer. She wanted to tell him that was good… oh-so-good, until it dawned on her, that he couldn’t hear her. She decided it was time for her to grow bolder.

  She pushed him back and sucked in a quick breath.

  Mustering all of her courage, she hoped to show Finn she was dead serious about him. If she stepped out of her comfort zone for him, maybe she could convince him she meant it. She didn’t want Finn to continue feeling awkward, unsure and suspicious of her genuine interest. All of it was due to his trauma from the head-screw, Simone whoever-she-was. What she did to Finn when he was nothing more than a vulnerable, insecure teenager was deplorable and unforgivable. Bad enough for any seventeen-year-old kid, but a deaf, orphaned one? Pretty hostile and cold-blooded. She hated the possibility that he would assume she pitied him. The truth was: her reasons were as clear-cut and basic as her physical desire to make love to him. Brianna had become emotionally connected to him so she wanted to show him how she truly felt.

  She pushed him until he was flat on his back before she leaned down.

  “You’re having a hard time trusting me, right?”

  “Yeah. I am,” he said. She was right above his face.

  “I want you to know that it’s hard for me too. And what I’m about to do is strictly because I want to do it. I’ve chosen to do it with you and only you. Something I’ve never done before…”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You always worry about trusting me. Can I trust you?”

  “Yes.” No hesitation.

  She sucked in a breath and drew strength from it. “Then I’m going to trust you with something, okay?”

  His face scrunched up with intrigued concern. Was she preparing to go all psycho? Or try something unusually kinky? She sighed. Nope, not her style. He was curious to know her version of those things. Some might consider them tame. Sexually speaking, for her, this was kind of new. His eyes widened before he nodded. “Okay.”

  Hoping he’d catch on quickly once they started, Brianna wanted Finn to forget all about his hang-ups and insecurities. She wanted him to banish every last thought concerning what that bitch did to him so many years ago, which nearly ruined him. She moved until she was straddling his chest. He could feel her wetness on his bare skin. She stared down and saw how big he was, and still rising from the spring of curly, black hair. His straining penis certainly showed no vulnerability towards her. She smiled, leaning forward to take him in her hand. She pulled on him and he grunted and groaned so she did it again before placing her wet mouth over him. She playfully licked the tip of his eager shaft and he shoved his hips higher as she smiled to herself. She felt totally in control of Finn and what he was about to experience.

  But he soon caught on to what she was doing. His hand slid to her waist and he moved her slightly. As she took his length inside her mouth, he slid his fingers right along her slit. His fingers dipped inside her and she groaned, relaxing her throat to swallow him more deeply. He tugged her closer before plunging his tongue deep inside her and she nearly let go of him, all the sensations overwhelmed her so much. She’d never done that before. And wasn’t sure exactly how to do it, but somehow, everything she did was working and aligning… As she leaned over him, getting more excited and turned on, he thrust his fingers inside her.

  Finn had experienced sex as humiliation. She now wanted him to experience it as the opposite, and believe that it was entirely different with her.

  Finn associated acts of sex with disgrace and shame. That was because a heartless, cold-blooded twit spoiled it for him.

  By doing this, Brianna hoped Finn would realize she was right there with him, as intimately as he felt. This was something entirely between them that required mutual trust. So much trust and loving care. Brianna was straining and ready to come and what felt like fireworks began taking off in her bloodstream. The more turned-on Finn got her, the faster her mouth moved and worked him over. And the higher he lifted his hips up for her, the harder she pressed her mouth over him.

  If Finn could have only heard. Grunts. Moans. Sighs. Groans. And other unladylike noises came out of her as much as they did from him. It was spontaneous and fast and hot and powerful and everything wonderful combined… The best sex she’d ever had.

  She came first, and her body was quaking and wilting, yet her mouth kept working him until. He
pulled her to bring her around and drew her towards him. His eyes remained shut, and the distinct expression of unbridled ecstasy, pure and simple, shone on his face and his relaxed jaw. Brianna nestled against the side of him, holding onto him tightly.

  Huddling closer into him, she suddenly felt shy with embarrassed. Nearly suction-cupping herself to the side of him, she hoped he wouldn’t push her away. She was overcome with tender emotions and felt totally exposed like she’d never been before.

  But that was not like sex was to him.

  She understood him better now and his brief hesitancy. He took her in his arms and she nearly wept with relief as he held her tightly to his chest, his arms crossing behind her back. It was so tight, she could hardly breathe, but she wasn’t complaining. She savored every minute of it because Finn never showed this side of his personality. Never before. He was allowing her to see his neediness. Only her. Their legs tangled together. His cum felt cold when her knee rolled over it, but she didn’t care at all. Not in the least.

  His face was buried in her shoulder and hair. Brianna listened and felt his heavy breathing. He was slick with sweat before he finally started to cool down and dry off. She lay close to him until her heartbeat finally matched his. She could not articulate the reason why she came there, but whatever she’d begun nearly stole her breath along with her heart and soul. Everything seemed changed. Mostly herself. Her thoughts. Her feelings about Finn. Her view of the world and her place in it. The only person she wanted to live with was Finn.

  She nuzzled his face. Kissing his jaw, she trailed her lips below his neck for as far as she could reach. He never stopped clutching her. She wanted to know his thoughts. She wanted to share hers. Everything. It scared her at times and seemed too difficult to accomplish and she wasn’t sure how she would, but she wanted… no, she needed to figure it out now. It became her mission.

  He tilted his head and opened his eyes, blinking at the bright lamp light. Then he turned his head to find her bright eyes fastened on him. He stared at her for a long, profound moment. Brianna held her breath in her lungs as she felt his energy. It was coming from him, and she felt it, right down to the curling of her toes. She gripped his head, placing her hands behind his ears, along the sides of his neck and stared into his eyes. She didn’t have a clue what Finn was thinking. She didn’t know him as well as her hammering heart tried to believe she did. She thought she could predict some of what he felt now and thought, but did she really know? Fear gripped her heart. What if she misjudged everything? What if, this time, she was playing the fool? What if he were pretending to find her a conquest, a challenge, or someone who was out of his league in looks so he could now gloat and be proud that he’d done that with her?