The Wrong Sister Read online

  “Aren’t you at work?” Tracy answered without preamble. Her tone had gotten to the point of rude. What had Vickie done to Tracy lately? Nothing, at least, nothing that she remembered.

  “Just, ah, yeah, soon. Is Julia okay?”

  “You mean since I just bathed her for you? Yeah, she’s fine. Don’t bring her to me again like this. It’s like you didn’t even care for her yesterday. We’ve been over this before, Vickie. All day. Every day. You must take care of her. It is not my job. It is not Mom’s job. It’s not even Leila’s job. It’s yours, and Donny’s. I don’t have time for Julia today. Donny was desperate. Why is that, Vickie?”

  Vickie fell onto the couch. Oh thank heavens. Julia was all right. That meant Donny had been home last night. He must’ve found Julia in her playpen. He found her… how? How was she when he found her? She assumed she passed out because she didn’t remember anything after talking to Alana. When did Alana even leave? Why would Alana leave her alone if she were that drunk with the baby in the house? Tracy always said Alana was a crappy friend. Maybe she was. Vickie’s stomach heaved. Her sister’s voice grated on her already sore head. Tracy expected so much out of her too.

  “I just, ah, we had a fight. I didn’t talk to him last night. I’ll call you later.”

  “When are you coming for her?” Tracy persisted.

  Vickie’s stomach was about to rebel. Later. Later, she’d go get Julia and make up for leaving her alone yesterday. Later, she’d go find a way to make Donny forgive her.

  He’d be mad, but she could fix it. She could. She would never do that again.

  ****

  Donny tapped the keyboard to finish upgrading the system on a local bank’s network. He had a pile more to do today, including some bills and accounting. He had to let the receptionist and bookkeeper go recently in an attempt to save money, and now did those jobs himself.

  Money? Where could he get more from? He couldn’t imagine how he would manage to keep it all afloat. That’s what motivated him to seek Micah’s help and counsel. His stomach cramped. Micah. Shit.

  He glanced up when the storefront door opened with a ding. There stood Vickie. Today, her eyes were clear and sober. She was dressed, and her hair and makeup were back to normal. She looked stunning for an ordinary Thursday. Almost the opposite of Tracy this morning. It was part of what so distracted Donny about her at first. She always looked like a posing cat-walk model. She was compelling.

  Hanging her head, she stared at her hands, which she kept folding and unfolding before her. He rolled his chair back from his desk and waved her into his office. The place was quiet now. His only other employee left for lunch. He really hoped to bring in another programmer and some support staff. He just needed a couple more good profit months.

  Now? Again, who knew?

  Vickie’s voice cracked. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Donny.” She started to cross the room and got down on her knees to grab his hands from the sides of his chair. Squeezing them in hers, she was now eye level from where he sat in the office chair. Tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t mean to do it. I’ll be better. I swear it this time. This is my rock bottom. I can feel it.”

  He clamped his jaw together. “My daughter was left alone and unattended for half a day. Any number of things could have happened to her. That will never happen to her again. I don’t care what I have to do to make sure of that.”

  She nodded as her tears streamed harder. “I put her in the playpen.”

  “Alone. In the dark. In a dirty diaper. Unfed. Unloved. Uncared for. What you’ve done to her can’t be undone. But you won’t be doing it again.”

  “I just… you know this thing gets me sometimes.”

  “What made you start drinking on a Wednesday morning?”

  She averted her eyes and shrugged. “I don’t really know. I went to lunch with Alana and we had a glass of wine—”

  He grabbed her hands in a tight grasp. “Did you drive Julia drunk?”

  She started shaking her head. “No. Honest. Alana drove us. I thought it would be okay.”

  “It’s never okay when you drink. Why even go with Alana? She always has that effect on you.”

  She shrugged. “Sometimes, I get bored at home. You know, there isn’t a lot to do. I get lonely. You work all the time. So Alana called and it sounded like fun to get out.”

  She could have taken care of their daughter. He gritted his teeth to keep from snapping out the obvious. No, instead he burdened his overwrought, devastated, exhausted sister-in-law to do it while his wife drank herself unconscious. And today, she spent three hours to get pretty and came here to… what? Try to justify her existence to him?

  He worked too much? She entered the marriage with four credit cards maxed out. She easily spent equal or greater balances since then. All the times she felt “bored” or “lonely” she spent money. Online shopping soon became almost as much a problem as her drinking. She ordered random purchases that she didn’t need or want, while never considering that there might be a problem. She didn’t get Donny’s stress. Sometimes, she didn’t even use or wear the items. She donated them with the tags still on them. He suspected the shopping went along with the drinking addiction. She was trying to fill some endless, needy hole inside her that he now realized was bottomless.

  He pushed his chair back to get some space. Shaking his head, he held his hands up. “I can’t do this anymore, Vick. I just can’t. You take too much from me. You have almost bankrupt me. You have put me in debt that will take me twenty years to get out of. But worse, you put my daughter in danger. You ignored her. I can’t tolerate that. I could deal with the shopping. The drinking even. But not what you just did to Julia.”

  She started shaking her head, and fell back to sit on her heels. “I know. I do, Donny. Please, don’t be like the others. I know I do things… hard things to live with, but don’t leave me. Not like everyone else. I love you. I need you so much. I’ll get better. I’ll find a way to get better.”

  “Do you love Julia?”

  Her mouth dropped open. “You think I don’t love our daughter? Oh my God! I do, baby. I love her more than everything. What I do… isn’t because of her. I didn’t mean to do it. I’m going to change this time. I promise I will.”

  “What you did yesterday? I won’t let you do that again. I can’t even trust you to take physical care of her. I can’t trust you… period.”

  She finally nodded and tears, real ones this time, filled her eyes. “Something is wrong with me.” Her shoulders shook as she sat in a miserable huddle on his office floor. He stayed back. In times past, he would have been wrapping his arms around her and rocking her as he told her nothing was wrong and they’d figure this out. This time, however, he just sat there. Her sniffling was the only sound in the office. She was good at that. He pressed his hands on the chair’s arms. She knew how to manipulate people to feel sorry for her. She was good at getting her way. Right or wrong, she was a masterful manipulator. It was how she’d gotten away with it for so long. He figured that the past three divorces usually occurred when she could no longer get her husbands to obey her demands.

  Surprisingly, he started saying “No” a while ago. Instead of leaving, as she customarily did in the past, she acted as if she really cared about him. He shuffled his butt on the chair. She just might have actually fallen in love with him.

  He drew in a breath. Great. But where did that leave them? Broke. Broken. Alcoholic. Crappy mother. Compulsive shopper. Was she playing him? Or did she mean it? He really didn’t know. She looked miserable, huddled there before him. She clutched her knees to her chest and had her head bent over them as great, wracking sobs shook her body. God. Yesterday, Tracy; today, Vickie. Happiness everywhere. He rubbed a hand over his face.

  For him, any real mother would have looked like that today because of what she did to their daughter yesterday. His head wanted to believe she realized what an awful thing she did. He really wanted to believe her. And he hoped that she finally un
derstood there really was something wrong with her.

  But his heart wasn’t convinced. He’d seen her do that before. He’d seen her just as convincing, and only a week later, replay all the same bad behavior again.

  Her sobs started to lesson when he didn’t make a move towards her. Her head finally lifted and her eyes peeked at him. She swallowed. “Donny? Don’t you believe me?”

  He held her gaze. Her dark eyes were so sincere, he almost caved. He almost leaned over and held her. Her eyes were Julia’s. She drew in a breath. She crawled forward to him and leaned her elbows on both sides of his lap. “Donny, please. Please, believe me. I’ll get help this time. Just don’t leave me.”

  He remained stoic and shook his head. “I can’t keep doing this. You’re a rollercoaster I can’t ride. And I will not allow you to do that to our child.”

  Her eyes were focused on his lap, and he knew what her next move would be. “No, Vickie. Sex can’t fix it anymore.”

  Her eyes grew round in shock, and her shoulders sagged. When she spoke, her voice lost the kind of breathless baby sound to it. Now, it just sounded weary and serious. “Okay. I get it. What do I have to do? What do you want from me?”

  “Is it me you want? Or because you just don’t want to be alone?”

  “You,” she said automatically.

  He let out a deep, exhausted breath. “Lose the act. Do you want me? Or do you want the lifestyle you’ve lived for a decade? If you do, we’ll make sure you have it. If you pick to be with me, everything will change for you. I can’t make you do it. You have to want it. We’re talking rehab and sobriety, budgeting, and a job, Vickie. We’re talking about you growing up and acting like an adult.”

  Her eyebrows lowered in puzzlement. “Like taking care of Julia?”

  “No. That’s not on the table. Not anytime soon.”

  “Okay. Okay. I’ll do it. This time, for real.”

  “This means we have to tell Tracy and your parents.”

  That and only that caused the real Vickie to come out. Her face lost the sad, pathetic, tragic, victimized look. Her eyebrows shot up as her eyes glared with fire in them. “No. Absolutely not. I will not tell them. And I will never forgive you if you do.”

  That was Vickie’s Achilles’ heel. She desperately hid her drinking from her sisters and parents, and played off her troubled life as simply being a flighty mess. Ha. Ha. Only, it wasn’t. Vickie was sick and needed serious help. The kind he couldn’t give her.

  He sighed. “We have to tell them either way. I want Tracy to watch Julia. You know she doesn’t really want to. We have to give her a compelling reason for why she needs to.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t bear having them know.”

  “But why? They don’t like how you go through men, money and jobs. Why not explain why those things happen? That makes you more sympathetic than just being a mess for no reason.”

  She pushed back from him and rose to her feet. “Because right now, they don’t know what a complete failure I am. I don’t want them to know. Gretchen and Tracy, they are good people. I am not. But they don’t know I’m that bad.”

  “How did we get here?” He looked around, feeling at a loss as to how his life could have gotten where it was.

  She finally flopped down in a chair, and all seduction and sadness vanished from her posture, face and tone. This was the real Vickie now. He didn’t often deal with her. She was nothing like she presented herself.

  “I started drinking in high school. You know, to be cool. Fun. Life of the party. It worked too. I was. My early twenties were just an extension of that. So I drank the weekends away. It didn’t seem like a big deal. All kids do it, right? Only mine never stopped. The parties stopped eventually, but my drinking didn’t. I just drank alone. Or with different groups so no one person caught on to how frequently I drank.”

  “Why me? Why did you marry me? Other than for Julia? What was in it for you? I’m not rich. I never even pretended I was. What did you think I could do for you? I can’t support your shopping or reputation, and you knew from the start I wasn’t a drinker. Not for real. So why me, Vickie? Be honest this time.”

  She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the sofa. “I started out with you like I do everyone. A good time. Sex. New things. Yes, I like the things guys buy me. I like the attention. But I fell in love with you, Donny. It was real with you.”

  “You know I don’t fully believe you.”

  She nodded. “I know. You see through it all. No one else ever did. Not my friends, or even my parents. They let me be like this and never encouraged me to do anything different. Gretchen was the smart one. She was their star daughter who had to always be successful. Tracy was the good one. The kind one. Everyone’s little sister kind of nice. She and Micah played the role as the perfect couple. She was always the perfect mother and wife. Me? I don’t know. Mom or Dad never even once suggested I try a little harder at school, or get a job after school. Nothing. They raved about my looks to their friends and other parents. Until I was older and then, they bragged about it to boys and later, men. They liked me dating. They practically shoved me out the door with guys. My popularity was something they liked. So I embraced it, and used it.”

  She never opened up so much to him about her family. He knew she genuinely loved them, and he couldn’t say she felt such real feelings for anyone else. “Did you use me? Just be honest.”

  She held his gaze. “Yes. I used you. I fell in love with you. I knew you’d never stay with me. I was a bright, shiny toy for a guy like you. You were substance, class, and care. You would want more than my body and looks after enough time went by. Unlike some men, I knew you’d want more in a companion than I could ever really be. I didn’t know how.”

  “So you got pregnant?”

  “Yes. I knew it was the only way a guy like you would stay with me. It’s still the reason why you’re here.”

  His mouth simply dropped open and stayed that way. She’d never been so brutally honest with him before. Her eyes were hard and cold as she stared at him. The act was fully gone. His face started to fill with heat. Was she right? Did he use her too? He practically lost his mind over her. Would he have tired of her after the sex haze disappeared? Maybe. Probably. Yes.

  He shook his head. “I’m not much of a catch for girl like you. I don’t see why you bothered. Not for me.”

  She smirked with a sad gleam to her eyes. “It wasn’t about money with you. It was about how you made me feel. I never loved anyone. But I do love you.”

  “You didn’t have to trick me.”

  “I did. I did have to. You wouldn’t be here otherwise. You’d be married to a nice woman like Tracy, or an impressive one like Gretchen. If I had not been pregnant, you would have soon gotten your head out of your ass about me and dumped me. Or kept me around for some side sex. But the real stuff? Wife? Companion? Life-partner? Someone like you wouldn’t have settled with me.”

  He didn’t know whether to be embarrassed, furious, flattered, heartbroken, or betrayed. He felt all of those emotions. He hurt for her because she thought so little of herself. Because her parents never taught her more about her internal worth. And ashamed because he would have done exactly as she just laid out. But then again, he was betrayed and should not have gotten stuck with her and her shit. But didn’t he deserve that for using her?

  However, nothing could make him regret Julia. It didn’t matter how things went with Vickie. Nothing could have invalidated her presence in his life.

  “I drink because it fills some void that nothing else can fill in me. New things. Shopping. Clothes. Alcohol. I use it all. I don’t know exactly why, Donny. I just do,” she said finally with a deep shrug.

  The thick silence sat heavily on his heart. Finally, he leaned forward. “Will you go to a real rehab? I’m talking about going away and getting serious help. Would you do that?”

  “Is that the only way you’ll stay with me?”

  He snorted. They’d al
ready been over this argument. “You can’t do it for that. I’m not guaranteeing anything. You’d have to do this for yourself. For your daughter. And your life.”

  She turned her head and sighed. “I don’t know if I can stop. I’m not like you. Or my sisters. I’ve always taken the easiest route with everything, even when I knew it was wrong or unethical. I did it anyway.”

  “Will you try? I am asking you to try.”

  She finally, slowly nodded. “Okay. I’ll try. But I refuse to tell my sisters or parents.”

  “Fine. Don’t. I will. I have to.”

  “Why do you have to? Can’t it remain between us? I want it only between us.”

  “Mostly because of Julia. I thought I made that clear. See right there? You’re putting your own desires over the welfare of your daughter. That is the kind of thing that makes people say you’re selfish.”

  She scowled and crossed her arms under her chest. “Why my parents?”

  He literally flopped onto the couch next to her. “Because I’m broke. Tracy and Micah are broke. We’re all going to need financial assistance from your parents. Our insurance doesn’t cover even half of what rehab costs. I simply can’t afford it.”

  “What?” she screeched loud enough to break glass.

  “Yeah. Your perfect couple? Micah and Tracy? Not so perfect as it turns out. They’re as fucked up as the rest of us.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He wearily sighed. “The start of hell.” Then he began to tell her the rest of the story.

  Chapter Four

  “IT’S TOO MUCH. I can’t remember it all.” Tracy pushed away the pile of papers that represented the details of their life. From bills and financial statements to homeowner manuals and insurance premiums.

  Micah glanced up at her from across the dining room table. He inched his hand over to hers and held it. “Yes, you can. You can do this.”