River on Fire (River's End #5) Page 4

  ****

  It was a long night. Brianna locked herself in the room she privately claimed as hers for the vacation and her cacophonic music nearly drove Jacob and Hailey out onto the deck just to speak and hear each other amidst the incessant pounding in the cabin. Hailey brought plenty of groceries, enough to last for at least a week, and she set about unpacking her luggage before tending to the family’s essentials. She cooked dinner for Jacob and herself, which they ate together at the picnic table out on the deck that overlooked the restless river. Clear water rushed below them before swooping into foamy rapids. She gulped internally while picturing herself riding the crests of such daunting waves in nothing more than a little rubber flotation device. But after observing Jacob’s reaction to her plan, it was well worth her effort to ignore her fear and march onward, despite her risk of doom and heartache.

  Jacob was nearly bouncing like a ball on the wooden seat. He had the same color of hair and green eyes as hers, and his were bright with excitement now. He was pretending to glide up and down the water bumps in his imaginary boat. Accurately imitating the noises of splashing water and guttural sounds, he made it seem as if the waves were exploding all over them as he pretended to row the craft while dodging errant logs and other invented obstacles on his terrific adventure. With a sigh of pure pleasure, Hailey leaned back and enjoyed the sight of her son acting so happy and carefree. Recently, he was mostly serious and quiet. Rarely disrespectful or even difficult, his clammed-up silence was even sadder for Hailey than if he exploded with anger at her.

  She and Jacob finished their dinner and decided to walk the grounds. They saw several gravel paths that wove around the place like a huge spider web. Some led down to the river, others to volleyball courts, basketball hoops and even an impressive jungle gym for kids that had its own climbing wall. Jacob ran off and stayed there for a long time, easily joining the game he spotted some kids playing. Hailey scoped out the pool and couldn’t wait to relax beside the inviting water. Eventually, Jacob wanted to go back to the cabin and curl up in one of the overstuffed chairs with his handheld video game. Hailey begrudgingly let him although she worried that he gamed an awful lot. It had become his private sanctuary and escape for the last two years. She had no idea if it were ultimately right or wrong for her to allow, but since it helped him deal with the discomfort of the situation, what else could she do?

  The main Rydell house sat elegantly in the distance, a beautiful beacon poised amidst the large mountains rising behind it and bathed in the subtle, fading tangerine colors of a perfect sunset. A soft breeze, much cooler than the day’s heat embraced her and she breathed in the rich scent of pines. Closing her eyes, Hailey willed her daughter to briefly disappear from her thoughts if only just for a few moments. The fragrant, soft aromas and the cool breeze replenished her sense of sanity after suffering so long under the stress, anxiety, chaos, change and insanity that only a divorce can create so epically in a family.

  “Pretty, huh?”

  She whipped around, her eyes fluttering open. There stood Joey, the check-in boy and occasional river raft guide. Standing a few feet back from her with his arms crossed over his chest, he wore the same short-sleeved, blue polo shirt with the name Rydell River Resort neatly stitched across the pocket, just over his heart. All the employees were required to wear them, making the staff easy to spot for help or information. Like the other employees, he had on the same khaki shorts as them and a pair of bright white tennis shoes.

  That was where any resemblance to the rest of the staff stopped. His blond hair, just a little too long on top, was tousled around his forehead in a careless flop. His big brown eyes were fringed in dark, sweeping, long lashes. He wasn’t smiling now, and his square jaw and perfect nose, which was a little too small, were no less shapely or manly. In short, he was breathtakingly handsome, having a face that was fit to be painted. It was almost dangerous to look too long at him, like staring too long at the sun. But he wasn’t just hot, as Brianna saw him; no, there was an enduring beauty visible in him that almost hurt, and seemed otherworldly, especially in a man.

  Hailey shoved her hands into the pockets of her jean shorts—which were certainly not the cheek-hugging, glimpse of a butt crack style that Brianna wore. Hailey shuddered at the image of her butt hanging out of those, and gross was only one unflattering adjective she could think of to describe it.

  “Yes, that house really is something. It looks almost like it’s a part of the land but just as regal as a king lording over his empire. Was it built recently?”

  He stepped closer. “No, the Rydells have lived there for at least a century.”

  “They actually lived there?”

  “Up until about a year ago, yes, there was always at least one Rydell living there. It was our family house.”

  “Our? You’re—”

  “Joey Rydell. The youngest brother.”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize that. So this place is your home?”

  “Hard to believe for most people. I know; but yes.” He approached her then, assuming her conversation was granting him permission to come closer. He must have been simply passing by when he spotted her. She stood somewhat transfixed with her eyes closed, and her face up to the sky. She was trying to forget her problems and find a way to meditate. Her goal was to alleviate the deep knots in her muscles as her brain panicked whenever she envisioned how she could manage to raise her two kids. She was essentially alone now, and their emotional problems were taking over her life and previous sense of well-being. She could only wonder what the future had in store for all of them. But what if Brianna… No. She had to banish the defeatist argument that seemed to stream through her head in an endless loop. She couldn’t solve it tonight. She turned towards Joey.

  “Why do you say that?” She heard something in his tone that caught her attention, launching her beyond her own personal concerns. His tone sounded bitter.

  He shrugged. “The same reason your daughter was after me. I don’t look the part, I guess. If you met my brothers, perhaps you’d understand.”

  He knew it? He knew that he was essentially a walking statue of Michelangelo’s David in the flesh? She’d seen it once, years ago, at the Academia Gallery in Florence. They went there on business for her ex-husband’s company. While sightseeing, she encountered the enormous, marble statue of a naked man looming before her. Huge was an understatement, since it stood at nearly seventeen feet high and seemed to be made purely from the rays of white sunlight. It was impossible for her not to stare in awe at the exquisite beauty and form. Ironically, she didn’t fail to notice that mostly women were lingering around it, absorbing… all of it, almost totally entranced. It was exactly how Joey appeared to the opposite sex and probably the same effect he must surely have made on them.

  Hailey dared not believe that his brothers could have been more handsome than he was. Surely, there was no living man she’d ever met who was as perfectly proportioned as Joey, or as pleasing to her eyes as he was before her now. “Do your brothers look like you?” She inquired hesitantly.

  “No, more like cowboys who have been hanging around here for the last century. Except for Shane, who looks like a biker? Naturally, that’s because he fixes and rebuilds motorcycles over there in that shop.”

  A small smile twitched on her lips but she bit her cheek to suppress it. “No, you don’t appear anything like a typical cowboy.”

  He rolled his eyes, but seemed to like her for not dwelling on his physical beauty. It would have been weird and odd for her to have done so. And so unappreciated by him. She sensed he definitely would not have welcomed her ogling him. Or anyone else in fact, especially her very attractive young daughter. That was good and her esteem for him rose along with her opinion, which impressed her far more than his looks, alone, could have ever elevated him. “So… you just looking around?”

  “Yes, my son and I already hit all the sports venues and tried out the equipment. He’s tired now and staring at his video games. I was j
ust…” Trying to forget my life, my husband, now ex-husband, and my daughter, who wants to screw the man I see standing before me.

  “You seem as if you’re lost in deep thought.”

  Shrugging, she dropped her fatigued body down onto the bench next to the path, since it was right behind her. The benches were conveniently scattered at predetermined intervals all over the grounds. That was no surprise since there were so many panoramic vistas to observe, from the river to the mountains to the verdant fields and grazing horses. She could see the house, and the tall mountains behind it, while further on lay the green fields of alfalfa and shady spots under trees where tiny herds of horses clustered.

  “Trying to forget my life. For merely five minutes.”

  He indicated the seat next to her. “Do you mind if I sit down?”

  She shook her head no. And she didn’t mind. He was young, so there wasn’t a spark of flirtation between them. He was just… someone not connected to her life’s struggle. That could be comforting too sometimes.

  “So is it working? Forgetting your life for five minutes?”

  “Not particularly well. But maybe after a few weeks here, it will improve.”

  “We’ve heard that more than once.”

  “What’s it like living here? Do you ever get stressed?” She exhaled a long sigh before breathing in the fresh, clean, sweet, country air.

  “Like living in real life and not taking a vacation, that’s how.”

  “Good point. I suppose you must hear that question a lot? Does everybody who vacations here simply assume you don’t have any real problems?” She was actually referring to his youth and beauty, as well as living in this utopian place.

  “I do get asked that a lot, yes. But as you are currently experiencing, stress is still stress even in the prettiest spot.”

  She closed her eyes and leaned back. “But there is a lot to be said for the peace and quiet of this place. Being a new place for me and not the house I once shared with my—” Her eyelids suddenly flipped open. “I keep doing that. I keep calling him my husband. We’ve been divorced a year now and still it pops out even though he’s marrying someone else.” She glanced down at her phone to look at the time. “Well, actually, he’s already married to someone else.”

  Joey dropped his gaze to her hand and her phone before returning to her face with a look of real surprise. “What? You mean today? He remarried someone today?”

  “At five o’clock. Yes, I’m sure the ceremony must be over.”

  “Okay, then that’s legitimate, I suppose, for you to be feeling like crap. Is that why…” His voice trailed off.

  Sighing internally, Hailey nodded yes. That was why her daughter kept acting out and behaving so outrageously like a snotty brat towards her and even Joey.

  “Why Brianna was so horrible to me? Yes.”

  “That must be tough on both of your children.”

  “It has been. After years of us fighting on and off, we entered complete withdrawal and began enduring our lives in near silence except when we were talking about the kids or the household. We were roommates basically. Not surprisingly, he, Brent, found someone else. His physical trainer. She is blonder, younger, and a seriously hot fling that quickly turned into passionate love before leaving me and living with her, so… today, they are legally married.”

  “No tears?” Joey asked after a pronounced pause as if she were letting the magnitude of her words sink in. Why did she even tell him that? It made no sense. She usually kept mostly all of her thoughts concerning that to herself. Why would she tell some random young man who worked at the resort where she was staying? Well, the obvious reason was… he was physically there, sitting right next to her on the bench, in the evening twilight while her ex-husband was remarried in another state although her kids, his kids! were not invited. Now, one of her kids was hell-bent on full-fledged rebellion while the other worried her because he was so sad. Why did she so freely unload her thoughts? Because this person, this stranger… simply asked. Being asked so personal a question seemed way too intimate for her to ignore.

  “I’ve shed so many, I could have filled an ocean by now. I think I grieved over my failed marriage and loss of love and all that. But I’m not done yet; the family we broke up and what it’s done to my kids still bothers me. Everyone tries to tell me it’s not my fault, and that kids are resilient and they’ll be fine… but aren’t those all just shallow platitudes? Nobody knows or can guarantee that anyone’s kids will be ‘fine’ after such a major trauma. You know, sometimes kids are never fine, no matter how much you love them and understand them and support them and try to do right by them. Sometimes… whatever you do is just not enough. And that’s not acceptable to me. How can I justify sitting back and throwing my hands up in frustration, as if whatever will be will be? I’m constantly being told not to worry, not to stress out, and I do everything I can… but I can’t control their futures or their lives… What a fucking cop-op. I’m their mother. If I don’t stress out and worry about them and try my best to help them, doing whatever I can for them, then who the hell will? Them? They are innocent children. They don’t have the maturity or emotional finesse, much less the reasoning skills of adults. Even Brianna. Sure, she looks centerfold-worthy, but she’s just a little girl all dressed up. She’s still trying to make sense of the family that is now gone and no longer around her. The familiar sense of security that she once knew helped her make sense of the world. Of course, she’s mad at me, since I played a huge part in destroying that for her. Of course, she’s rebelling. Of course, I’m the one who should fix it, or at least try to…”

  Her voice rose as she spoke. All of her previously contained passion, anxiety, worry, and concern collided in her tone and she began to sound angry as if she were yelling at Joey for her perceived problems. As if he were the one who caused them, or tried to ameliorate them with banal platitudes. She ended her inflamed speech and shook her head, dropping her eyes down and staring at her hands in her lap. She started picking the cuticles around her short, chewed nails. Not the most attractive sight were her hands.

  “I’m sorry. I had no right to unload all of that on you. You were just being polite. I… I think I’m more emotional about tonight than I intended to be.”

  He shrugged. “You don’t have to apologize. I think, well, that is, I’d like to believe that if I had any kids, I’d feel the same way about them. Being unconcerned, or blasé, or not getting worried? Now that I couldn’t respect. I admire your passion because I can plainly see how much you care and want so much for them.”

  “Please don’t add they’ll be fine because they have me. It doesn’t help. Having me by their sides doesn’t remove all the bad events that can happen in life and have already happened to them. Don’t diminish their trauma with—”

  “More platitudes?” he interrupted.

  She nodded, biting her lip, and then shook her head. “Yes, exactly. I’ll bet you’re sorry now that you stopped to talk to me.”

  He stretched one leg out. “I have never been married, or even had a long-term relationship and I have no kids, but I really hate hearing platitudes after a crisis. I have endured loss, although it was different, so I can relate.”

  “What loss? You mean, your mother?”

  His smile appeared quickly and vanished as he shifted slightly to face her a little better. “I don’t have any ‘mommy issues’ if that’s what you’re suggesting. I didn’t choose to talk to you because I missed out on that. I lost my mother and my father. Same time. Same age. Same day. When I was five, they were both killed in an auto accident. I was raised by my much older brother, Jack, and his wife, Lily. They loved me, and their two sons became my younger siblings. Despite being my nephews, they were more like my brothers than my three older ones. Jack was a good dad, and Lily was a good mom. I was okay. But she died when I was fifteen of a heart condition that went mostly undetected until it was too late. That was so sad for me, and there was a lot of grief in my heart. But I s
till had Jack, and his sons, as well as my older brothers. Not your traditional family, no, but I had their unconditional love and support.”

  “Why did you want to talk to me tonight?”

  His shoulders rose and fell. “You looked a little lost standing there. I was passing by, and thought I’d ask you why.”

  “That’s it?”

  He smiled. “That’s it. What else could it be?”

  “Mommy issues.”

  “You’re not old enough to be my mother.” He chuckled, his smile easily amused.

  “No, I’m older,” she emphasized in case he missed that fact. Something about his tone was unnerving and soon had her squirming. Had he really stopped to chat because he found her… pretty or attractive or something? No, her brain shied away from that angle. No. They weren’t like that. Sitting together and discussing their lives was merely the benign encounter of two strangers. Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger because they have no emotional interest or investment. That was it.

  He tilted his head a fraction of an inch. “Fine; you’re older. But that doesn’t preclude us from having an intelligent conversation, does it? Well, that is, unless you don’t find me intelligent or understanding. Do you feel like you’re talking to your fifteen-year-old daughter or something?”

  Her forehead wrinkled in confused surprise. “No. You don’t. Not at all. I do find you perfectly intelligent and very understanding. And I should shut up now and behave like the guest and stranger that I truly am.”

  “Well, if our brief conversation made you forget tonight and your ex for five minutes, what harm did it cause?”

  She sighed so deeply, it ruffled her bangs. “It did, actually. It did make me forget and even sparked my interest in something besides my own nagging gloom. I’m sorry about losing your parents, but seriously impressed by your brother who did what yours did.”