River on Fire (River's End #5) Read online

  “Hey, you’re Hailey, right?”

  Hailey nodded and pretended to focus a little too hard, perhaps, on smoothing her towel down. “Yes.”

  Kate sat up, her long body unfolding as she reached her hand out. “I’m Kate, Jack’s sister, and married to that big, gorgeous ranch foreman, AJ. I think you probably met him when you river-rafted.”

  Hailey bit her lip as she tried to hold in the big smile she suppressed. Kate wasn’t shy. Nodding, she answered, “Yes, I met him. And it’s so nice to meet you too.”

  Allison rolled her eyes. “Kate, you know AJ nearly disintegrates into the ground when you talk about him like that. You could just say you’re Jack’s sister. That completely places you.” Then she turned towards Hailey and added, “I’m Allison, Shane’s wife.”

  Hailey shook her hand too. Kate laughed out loud. “Well, the man is gorgeous and impossible to miss, which I don’t think any normal, red-blooded woman would fail to notice. I just like to emphasize that he’s married to me.” She smiled, glancing Hailey’s way. “So, look at him all you want, and really, who wouldn’t? I find it odd when they don’t. And it’s just fine with me, so long as it’s always respectful.”

  Allison let out a bark of a laugh. “You’re something else, Kate. Anyway, Hailey, welcome to the beach here. Our kids are enjoying the heck out of yours.”

  Kate stretched her legs out. “So enjoying them.” She lowered her tone of voice. “I have to tell you how grateful I am for Brianna’s initial acceptance of Cami. She doesn’t fit in too easily here. I know her looks probably suggest she might be a juvenile delinquent to most people, what with the dreadlocks and tattoos, but she’s really a great kid. She just has an offbeat sense of dress and style. Brianna was so cool about it when they met, and it made Cami feel instantly at ease, which she hasn’t encountered very often in her two years here.”

  “She isn’t your daughter?” Hailey sat down on her now evenly smoothed towel, taking off her cover-up and revealing her one-piece. Sitting next to the well-endowed Kate, whose long, tan legs, and curvy hips made the tiny bikini look exquisite, Hailey felt like a blimp. She took comfort at seeing Allison, who also wore a one-piece swimsuit.

  “She is now. She is AJ’s but he only found out about her existence two years ago, which coincidentally, was also the first summer I spent here. It was a huge shock to everyone. I was ready for a fling, a hook-up; I mean, look at the man; who wouldn’t? But in the end, I freaking moved in here, and the three of us have been figuring out how to live together ever since. Cami’s as much of a transplant here as I am. She’s just a teen though, and trying to fit in hasn’t gone very smoothly for her. So again, I must tell you how much I appreciate Brianna’s ease when she is around her.”

  Hailey nearly fell over. When was the last time anyone complimented her older child? And indirectly admired how she raised her? Maybe all of that was still inside Brianna. A renewed sense of hope arose in Hailey’s chest. “I felt the same way about Cami, actually.” She glanced towards the river where the girls floated, holding each other’s inner tubes, and talking intently. Intimately. They were an odd, contrasting pair, to be honest. Cami emphasizing her dark looks, hair, eyes, even her clothing, and yes, those natty dreadlocks all twisted up into a huge knot on top of her head. It looked like some kind of bird’s nest and physically impossible to unravel. But Cami managed to pull the whole look off. She even made it kind of offbeat and retro. In contrast, Brianna’s super-hyped sexy appearance and her long, straight, blond hair, skimpy bikinis and small clothes only accentuated their differences. Hailey didn’t love Brianna’s sexy taste, but arguing and even pleading for her to change it only made it worse. Over the years, Hailey learned to hold her tongue as well as her true opinion on it.

  “I’m recently divorced and it was pretty hard on my kids. Since their dad was remarried and currently on his honeymoon, we chose to come here, you know, for a distraction. But Brianna wanted nothing to do with me when we arrived, and during the week since she’s been hanging with Cami and Charlie, I’ve seen familiar glimpses of my old daughter. So I am just as elated as you are.” She smiled meekly at Kate.

  Kate smiled back. “That girl keeps me up at night. I worry about her so much. But then again, I realize she’s so great, so original, and so unusual that I want everyone to see that and notice it. Besides, having sexy taste doesn’t relate to the kindness and depth of caring in a person. I mean, look at me, fake boobs and all. If you judged me strictly on that feature, or my sometimes overly expressive language, you might totally miss my positive traits.”

  Hailey grinned. The comparison Kate made soothed her. Many women would have considered her negligent or a bad influence as Brianna’s mother. Whether they implied it through their body language or their tone of voice, they were pedantically blaming her and asking rhetorically, why didn’t Hailey stop her daughter from acting like that? Why didn’t she do a better job in raising her? But Hailey had done her best. So what if the results just weren’t shining through right then? Kate’s statement resonated with her. Kate readily confessed to having fake boobs and flaunting them in a tiny swimsuit. But her ease and lack of hesitation in allowing Hailey to join them made her feel instantly comfortable. She wanted to let her know how much it was appreciated and that she knew her sincerity was kind and real.

  Charlie and Jacob were only a few years apart and still close enough to play together in the wondrous setting of endless outside entertainment. They were hiking across the river while exploring its shallow, rocky center and diverse substrates.

  Allison listened and smiled softly. “Divorce is tough, all right. I can’t imagine how hard it must be getting two teens through it.”

  Hailey sensed the voice of experience in her tone. “You’re divorced too?”

  “Yes, I was married for seven years before I came here. We are still friends, but a huge loss separated us. I can relate to how sad it is while letting go of your old, familiar life, the dreams you shared, all the exterior relationships you forged, not to mention, plans for the future.”

  “It is tough.”

  “Well, maybe Joey can help you with the transition,” Kate said with a huge smile.

  Hailey immediately burned up with embarrassment. Kate glanced at her and covered her mouth. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just noticed… well, hell! Joey has never brought anyone here. Not to our private beach, and he had your whole family here. I mean, sorry, but we all couldn’t help noticing it because it was so unusual for him.”

  Allison rubbed her toes in the hot sand. “Joey’s often the subject of our discussions. Being the last single guy here and all… well, we’re always watching his love interests and wondering if this might be the one. There just hasn’t been anyone special, not ever really. So forgive us for noticing that and embarrassing you. Especially Kate. She forgets that not everyone is as vocal as she.” Allison shoulder-bumped Kate. Kate ducked her head, grinning.

  “I don’t mean to be that way, it just pops out. And yes, it’s exciting because it is Joey. Excluding Erin, he’s always had terrible taste in women.”

  Hailey’s ears pricked up and she blushed even redder at the inference that she was his latest romantic interest. At least they suggested that she was better than most of the others. And Joey was even acting differently. She was being evaluated and ranked in some ways. They were observing the object of Joey’s attraction and the picture he must have painted of himself and her. On the other hand, it was fast becoming way too apparent that there was something different going on between them. And what about Erin? As in…

  “Erin?” Hailey couldn’t help how swiftly it slipped from her lips. She could not comprehend if she meant Erin as in Jack’s Erin? And… did she also have something with Joey?

  Kate flashed a brilliant, white smile. “I know you didn’t expect that out of our prim, sweet, shy little sister-in-law. But before Jack and Erin, there was Joey and Erin. It’s all history now, but it remains a source of ceaseless asto
nishment to me.”

  Erin and Joey? As in sexually? The shocking revelation disturbed Hailey for some reason. She was seriously annoyed and intimidated. Erin was beautiful. Out of this world gorgeous. So natural, the very essence of raw beauty. It wasn’t owing to a certain cosmetic or hair dye, no. There was something almost otherworldly about the rancher’s wife. Joey’s ex-girlfriend? So not what Hailey expected. If Erin was any indication of Joey’s type… What the hell was having dinner with her all about?

  “What provides ceaseless astonishment to you?” They all three whipped around when Erin, of all freaking people, suddenly walked up behind them. She wore a tiny bikini.

  “You and Joey, once. Now, you and Jack. Just educating Hailey on the family dynamics here.”

  Erin shook her towel and lay it down as she slipped her sunglasses off her face, and folded them neatly. Erin groaned out loud. “You certainly didn’t need to tell her any of that. It’s only ancient history, and nothing any of us enjoy reminiscing about.”

  “No, but it’s the most delicious gossip! How can I resist, my sweet little Erin?” Kate flashed a huge grin, lifting her sunglasses to meet Erin’s eyes with a wink.

  Erin rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Kate, you seriously need to stuff a sock in your mouth sometimes.” Then she turned towards Hailey. “Don’t let her get to you. There was nothing between me and Joey…” Then she shuddered. “Seriously, it’s ancient history. We’re all, Kate withstanding, working really hard to put it permanently behind us. Joey was more like a son to Jack, and there were some pretty raw emotions being juggled for a few years, but thank God, most of that all passed.”

  “Kate, it isn’t funny,” Allison spoke up this time. She met Erin’s gaze and something shifted between them, altering Kate’s entire demeanor. Kate got up quickly, crossing the space between Erin and her and scooping Erin up in her arms. Erin’s head barely reached above her boobs. They were an odd pair, but together, they were beautiful. A stunning study of light to dark, the small, petite figure pressed against Kate’s spectacular, impossible-to-miss form.

  “I’m sorry, Erin. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  Erin shoved back from her. “I’m not a delicate flower… well, not anymore. I can handle yours or anyone else’s teasing.”

  Hailey shifted. She felt uncomfortable in witnessing the intimate scene unfolding before her. The lumpy, white sand made her butt ache. Erin glanced her way and flopped down beside her. “Don’t feel weird. Allison was all concerned because I’m dyslexic, and barely able to read. She’s been teaching me how for the last three years. I used to be a hot mess of insecurities with a trail of boyfriends before I came here. The whole self-esteem train passed me by in a flash. I’m not like that so much anymore. But that explains how I managed to have… relations with two brothers of the same family. I promise you here and now, Joey and I are no more to each other than any other in-laws.”

  Hailey glanced at her. “I’m sorry, that must have been hard for everyone.”

  “It was, all of it.”

  “How did you guys manage to move past it?”

  “Lots of time and space, for starters. Jack just knows, in a gut level, how much I need and love him. So he had to overlook the Joey history; otherwise, I couldn’t live here. Especially like we all do on the ranch. I mean, there is no avoiding the Rydell family. We practically live in each other’s pockets.”

  Hailey’s previous conversation with Joey re-entered her brain. “Wasn’t there some trouble at one point? I think Joey mentioned something but I wasn’t sure what the fight was about.”

  “Yes, we’ve had our bouts of horn-locking. When Joey first came back to the ranch for a visit after leaving for the Army, he had very few choice words for me, and then he spoke impudently to Jack, and Jack didn’t take too well to that. They ended up having a fist fight in the middle of the yard. Ian and Shane had to pull them apart. But honestly? That little set-to was about so much more than me. It was all about them trying to go from their father-son dynamic into becoming equals as brothers. It wasn’t an easy transition for either of them. And as for me? I was the scapegoat for it.”

  “Did you forgive Joey? For what he said, I mean?”

  Erin waved her hand. “Oh, of course I did. Years ago. He apologized. He would never have intentionally meant any harm to me. All of his anger was aimed toward Jack.”

  “And now?”

  “Now? They finally accepted that Jack is just a freaking father-figure for Joey and so what? Now they deal with the ranch on an equal basis, but in their personal relations, not really. I’m just saying you shouldn’t feel weird toward me or Joey about all of this. It happened literally years ago and has no relevance to Joey now.”

  “I-I’m not really, I mean, I’m not dating him or anything. We’re…” friends? That didn’t even remotely begin to explain their relationship. In a relationship? That seemed a stretch too. It was how they knew each other. Which was… what way? She couldn’t formulate an accurate answer.

  Erin grinned. “Tell me about it. Getting to know someone who isn’t quite a friend because there’s something there, with a half dozen people always hanging around, asking questions… I get it. Whatever you are, it’s nice to see you with him. He’s never shown any decent taste in the women that attract him. Even me. He had no genuine interest in me. I mean it. No one has meant anything to him, ever. And worse still, owing to his atrocious taste in the women he chose to hang with, none of us had any hope for him ever finding a decent mate.”

  Hailey soaked it all in. Her ears pricked up eagerly, wanting to know all about him. She desperately wanted to learn everything. The stuff he couldn’t, or wouldn’t say. The impressions of other people, his past history, his rank and position here, the fact that he’d slept with his brother’s wife… well, nothing so awful as that, but still, it did happen. And yet, Hailey was insatiably hungry for more details about him. When was the last time she so desperately wanted to know anything about someone else? For years, she’d been caught in a lackluster marriage, having lost the spark years ago.

  She realized that she and Brent only got married because Brianna was on the way. They scarcely dated for six short months, and then Brianna’s imminent arrival popped up and they agreed to get married. Years into it, the creeping suspicions that they might not have married if not for Brianna plagued both of them. There was a definite amicability between them, but love? Not the kind of love that a happy marriage requires. It wasn’t soul-stirring, body-stirring, or even mind-stirring. It was pleasant.

  She remembered dating him in her senior year in college. Sure, he was a nice guy to date, but she had no further intentions towards him, and certainly no clue about being in love. Now, she realized they’d never truly fallen in love. For fourteen years, they lived together. The respect they once held for each other waned as the usual rigors of modern life increased and its consequent demands became harder on both of them. Building a business and supporting their family was their number one priority. There was way too much stress and none of it was funneled in a constructive way. There was no real love ever, not like the kind she witnessed with the three women she saw here and their spouses. She was never in love. They merely had some things in common. Friendship? No, not that. Brent and she had entirely different interests and pursuits. He was a good father. She was a good mother. They shared that, thankfully. But anything beyond it? No. Not particularly. She was not so much aware of it during the busy moments of living her life and raising her kids, but sensed it as soon as their marriage began to dismantle.

  Yeah, the affair hurt. His betrayal virtually ripped away her faith in everything simply because she never believed he could be capable of doing that. But then again, why not? Only now, in its long aftermath, did she find that clarity. In a sad, pathetic way, she was actually relieved Brent ended it. She might never have left him, or him her. They didn’t hate each other, although there was definitely resentment. Each blamed the other for keeping them from achieving
real happiness. But they did reach it as a family. They had many good times over the years, as a family. There was also plenty of love as a family. Both of them agreed eventually that although they managed to create a good family, they were not in love as a couple should be. And if Brent had waited and not physically taken that crucial step of separation, they might have lived together for another decade or more just as they were. Looking back in hindsight, she now realized it wasn’t enough. For either of them.

  But it had been enough for her kids. And that knowledge filled Hailey with a crippling guilt that still gnawed at her. Her stomach lining burned whenever she thought of their pain. She felt that her needs, and certainly Brent’s, were not as important as those of their kids, who needed a family. Their family. The inadequate love that eroded the relationship between their parents wasn’t a good enough reason to justify why they had to split. And it was too painful for Hailey to tell them they just didn’t love each other, not like a husband and wife should, despite loving their kids with all of their hearts, as they should have. That was the only tie that bonded them, and that was why it lasted for so damn long.

  So, into this miasma entered Joey. These women talked as if Joey had never ever, not even once, been steady with a woman. He kind of hinted that to her. His women were only there for two reasons: sex or friendship. That’s all Joey seemed to ever find. And Hailey? A divorcee pushing forty with older kids was the first woman to evoke something more in him? Hard for Hailey to believe or grasp. However, she had to admit that she felt like she was Brianna’s age with the captain of the high school football team making eyes at her. The rush, the intrigue, the longing… all of it was that exciting to her. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt those kinds of feelings stirring in her, or with such intensity. While in her teens; that had to be the last time she felt like this. Excitement. Urges. Impulses. Anxiety and anticipation at seeing someone so new, even hearing his name or the whisper of his presence, was beyond thrilling. Hell, it made her feel young. And beautiful and interesting, feelings she hadn’t experienced in so long, how could she stop herself from indulging in it with all of her mind and volition? Was it real? Most likely, not. A fling. A rebound. She was looking at Joey and the circumstances of whatever they were, yeah, of course… it was no more than a fling. An impulse. A mistake. A fun, flirty mistake.