River on Fire (River's End #5) Read online

  “I’ll walk you back. It’s longer than you think once it gets dark and from here on out, the path is not lighted. Besides your kids are probably on the resort grounds anyway, with Charlie. They often go there after dark.”

  She nodded gratefully, still clutching her wet shorts and rewrapping the towel around her to guard her modesty and prevent Joey from seeing her not-so-small, bare ass.

  Trailing behind Joey, Hailey didn’t fail to notice the odd quiet between them. Sure enough, when they returned to the resort, there they were. All gathered around a crackling campfire in the large fire pit sat her kids and Charlie. She sighed contentedly. They were all smiling. They looked as if they were happily interacting and having fun.

  “They’re roasting marshmallows.”

  “Figured they might be. Usual thing to do after dark with those guys.” She stopped and stared at them in nearly drooling awe. Her kids looked… like they used to. Before. Before everything all went to shit. Before she and Brent hurt them so selfishly.

  “My kids haven’t looked that innocent, or… that happy in a very long while. And certainly not with me around.”

  Joey turned towards her. She couldn’t make out his facial expression until he stepped a bit closer to her. She felt him studying her. Then he suddenly swept her off the path, moving to a tree to their right and going behind it. He pushed her against it as his mouth descended on hers. This time, there was no hesitancy on her part… or his. His lips opened over hers and she responded in kind as their tongues collided together. She dropped everything she was previously clutching so desperately. Her damp shorts fell to her feet before the towel opened and landed on top of them. And ridiculous as it must have looked, she could only imagine. She was weak-kneed, propped against the trunk of a cottonwood tree, its rough bark pressing into her shoulders, her butt cheeks, and her upper thighs. Joey, meanwhile, loomed over her, a solid, impassioned presence above her. Her hands clutched his shoulders, and this time, there was an eagerness their first kiss never had a chance to attain.

  She held herself up as her hands found his hair and slid into the silky, smooth strands. Tearing his mouth from hers, his tongue slid down to her jaw and neck. She moaned softly as the wet warmth traveled over her skin and tickled her ear. He paused to dip his tongue inside it, sending a wave of shivers down her entire body as volcanic heat literally poured out of her core like lava. She gripped his hair tighter, restlessly, and purposefully when his mouth touched her neck and her collarbone, and all the while, her hands were unable to stop moving. She wanted to imprint every inch of his smooth skin and warm touch in her memory.

  His hands left her waist where he pulled her against him and headed towards her underwear. He took the sides in his hands and pushed them up before bunching them all around her butt cheeks. The way he squeezed and manipulated them made her knees buckle and she began to sway. Everything went hazy as her desire and libido awakened every nerve ending in her body.

  She almost screamed out for him to touch her, lick her, and kiss her everywhere. Especially the place where his fingers were so close to entering. Her hips seemed to be pushing closer to his warm hands. Goosebumps broke out all over her skin.

  His lips returned to her mouth and he pressed her against his groin in ways that soon had her stomach churning. An endless desire for more of the heat that pricked her, and the solid feel of his turned-on body, so heavy and hot against her own wet, needy form, nearly made her gasp.

  His hands gripped the sides of her panties and he pushed them down a few inches as her entire body strained towards him. She seemed to be screaming, Yes. Now. Please. She wanted to vocalize each one aloud but something, some kind of inner restraint, kept her quiet as she engulfed his delicious mouth in hers.

  His fingers trailed down over the side of her hip and her thigh before resting at the junction of warm, damp heat that was now dripping from her. He touched her gently. She was in such a fever of torment, she was ready to sit on his hand and force him inside her. But she remembered and realized Joey was gentle. The first kiss was so gentle. The first touch too. His first touch down there. Also gentle. Cautious. As if he were asking for her permission.

  She kind of liked the sweet politeness of it, which was totally unexpected.

  She was nearly gulping for air by the time his mouth lifted off hers, and after a few lingering kisses, his expression was hard to read in the darkness. The air was all warm around them now, thankfully cooler and much more pleasant. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. She nearly whimpered her need when his fingers didn’t proceed any further. While they hesitated, pausing there, her heart tripled its beat with need and anticipation. Oh, how badly she needed him. But he was slowing down and eventually, he lifted his hand away from her, gently replacing her underwear. She released a long sigh and stared at his eyes, which were so close now.

  “Not here,” he whispered.

  She gritted her teeth, ready to beg for the opposite. Of course he was right. They were outside and the kids weren’t too far off. Other people could be strolling the same path. But… but… she really didn’t give a shit in that particular moment.

  She jerked back and stared up at him. Of course she gave a shit. What if someone saw them? That was definitely not her. To be caught half naked outside in the night air, all turned on and inappropriately with a guy half her age.

  “Besides, I want you to be sure. You’re not sure… not yet. I’m ready to wait until you are.”

  She closed her eyes, still clinging to his body, which now nearly held her up against the tree. Her hands were clutching his back and shoulders. When he took her in his arms again, his embrace was long and tight as he buried his face against her shoulder and back, his hands clutching her just as desperately as she did him.

  Lonely.

  That was what his hug, this tight, needy embrace managed to address inside her. There was a deep, lingering loneliness.

  Stranger still, he seemed to cling to her just as much as she did to him. Did he suffer from the same problem? But why? How could he? So young, handsome, and successful, there was no reason this man… guy… kid should be lonely. And how could she, of all people, be the one to prevent it? No. No way. But still, they clung to each other.

  Her body slowly started to calm down and the swelling of her heart and deep, gnawing desire abated gradually. A sense of reality started to return.

  Dear God, she didn’t start this, but weirder still, she didn’t try to stop it either.

  “Why did you do that?” she whispered into his ear, which was just inches from her mouth. They couldn’t stop embracing. Clutching each other like frightened meerkats.

  “You. I did that simply because of you.”

  Startled by his answer, and its simplicity, honesty, and overall sweetness, she was flustered and didn’t know quite how to respond.

  “But… but… it just doesn’t make any sense.”

  His shoulders bumped up and down under her arms. “It makes sense to me.”

  He said nothing further. No explanation of why. What could she possibly possess that would call to this young, ideal Adonis of a man?

  She was finding that the longer she hung out with him, the less she worried so much about it. Once they started talking, he was funny and easy for her to relate to. He had some surprising observations. And for God’s sake, he was always so nice. He wasn’t anything like she expected him to be.

  She was almost shame-faced now, when she thought, why not? Why had she assumed he wouldn’t be so nice?

  Then the faintly distant echo of the laughter and raised voices of kids brimming with excitement filled her ears. She burned up. If they saw her there… She shuddered at the thought. No, her brain could not dare to entertain that.

  “I need to go now.”

  Joey pushed back from her and let her go. Again, she couldn’t meet his gaze. She dropped down to collect her stuff and tried to maintain her dignity. He turned and stared up at the patches of sky through the
tree branches. Millions of stars blinked in glittering relief against the velvety blackness of the summer sky.

  Feeling somewhat respectable again, she stepped onto the path. “I have to get back before they do.” The panic of reality suddenly burned brighter than all the rusty feelings he stirred up. God. She could not be caught wearing nothing but a towel around her and still half damp while it was dark outside. The obvious question from any of them would be, What the hell have you been doing? He stepped closer. “They’re still roasting marshmallows at the campfire.”

  She glared at him and started a power walk towards her cabin. He lagged behind for a moment but quickly caught up. “What exactly about me staring at my kids causes a reaction like that?”

  Her tone was annoyed, her steps jerky. She should have bitten her tongue off for how rude that sounded. He followed her to her cabin and she almost told him to just leave… but no. Nope, she didn’t.

  “It wasn’t your kids. It was you, or rather, your reaction to them. The joy you receive from them. I can’t respect how much you care about them? It isn’t like everyone, you know. You should see some of the shitty parenting I’ve witnessed coming through here.”

  She stopped up short, waiting at her door. His explanation had her spinning around in shock. It was oddly so sincere and such a nice a thing to say. She shook her head. “Of late, I’m not so full of joy anymore. I’m tired and cranky at them. I’m stressed out in general and unhappy and it becomes evident to people in everything I do and who I am. I haven’t felt passion or the urge to make myself attractive in years. Why? Because I’m too tired from being so miserable. How could you see that in me?”

  She nearly started pacing. “I used to be pretty. When I was your age, I might have passed for kind of pretty. Nothing like you, but pretty all the same. Now? What are you doing? What are you thinking? What is this thing you have for older women?”

  He didn’t reply to her inflammatory comments or worked-up tone. He lowered his voice, ignoring how she raised hers, instantly shaming her without any words. Yeah, sure. She was the mature one about this?

  “I don’t have a thing for older women. Never. Not once. I told you that already.”

  “Then what is it? That…” She flapped her hands towards the tree, further down the path, that damn tree that made her feel like she nearly burned up just by remembering what happened. “What was that all about?”

  He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Interest, okay? Interest in you. Attraction to you. You feel it too, I know you do. You get nervous every time I’m around. So quit acting like it’s so strange.”

  “Of course I get nervous. Because it doesn’t make sense.”

  “It doesn’t have to. Sometimes, you should just let things be.”

  She shook her head, looking confused and unsure. “I can’t just let things be. I’m too old. I’m the mother of those kids. I am too old for you.” There. She outright said it. She threw down the gauntlet and acknowledged the elephant in the room and why it was so impossible for her to believe.

  “Yes, you are their mother. That doesn’t detract from your appeal. Do you want it to? Is that what puzzles you? Because I’m not as shallow as you pegged me to be?”

  He stared at her, and the porch light reflected the dark depths of his eyes. But still, the mature, deep, sexual stare that captivated her didn’t seem like it belonged to any kid or young, clueless guy. He was the one in control between them. He had all the power and authority. It befuddled her how she so readily turned into a puddle of nerves and raw feelings… yes, all kinds of feelings. She bit her lip, trying not to cry.

  “We don’t match.”

  “We don’t have to match. We just have to like each other.”

  Her shoulders sagged. Yes, she expected him to be shallow and shortsighted. Knowing she was the mother of teenagers, not young kids even, should have mattered to him. So what if she pegged him? He refused to stay pegged.

  “And you could quit insulting me with all your hang-ups. It’s starting to piss me off now.”

  She watched him cross his arms over his chest as a cold look produced by his raised eyebrows and twisted mouth appeared on his face. She shook her head. He was right. She owed him the apology. She was just as attracted as he was, she just didn’t expect hers to be returned. “I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, heaving her chest up and down in a big sigh. She shook her head. “I didn’t expect anything like this. You. Not now, or here, or so soon…”

  “I know. That’s why I stopped back there.” He stepped forward and invaded all of her precious personal space. Now, she could not breathe. Not when he was right there in front of her, making her chest heave with nervous anxiety. His hand came up to cup her jaw and pull her forward. No hesitation. All at once, nothing about him seemed young. He was taking the lead and she was as helpless as a sheep bleating after her shepherd. His lips barely touched hers. When she felt his warm breath, she looked up and was helplessly caught in a long, bold eye lock.

  “When it happens, you won’t be confused or unsure.”

  He let her go, stepping back and simply walking away as she stared after him. His final statement to her, emphasizing when, seemed to echo through every single cell in her body. Her brain was buzzing with white noise and her heart was full of… anticipation. Zinging, singing, crazy-hot, deliriously happy anticipation. Maybe something had finally changed in her life. In her. But then again… no. It couldn’t be. Not with Joey Rydell. Nothing like that could happen to her.

  Chapter Six

  HAILEY COULD NOT GET the kisses she shared with Joey out of her brain. All night long, she lay there tingling, turned on, thoughts of passion and desire coursing through her as well as the thrilling sensation of being desired. He stopped. Why did he have the wherewithal, the maturity, and the sense to stop? Because seeing how unsure she was actually mattered to him. Her cynicism, skepticism, and disbelief were insulting, but that was how she considered his interest.

  Why should she believe it?

  Now, however, she had to put it all away. All the lovely, unparalleled new feelings. She had to ignore them and focus on her usual routine. Her kids. Getting Jacob’s breakfast. Brianna surprised her by coming out of her room early, and was pleasant enough while talking to both of them. She did not roll her eyes or reply with sharp retorts. She didn’t even swear.

  After they both had a great time with Charlie and Cami, they were going swimming in an hour. No wonder Brianna was up so early. She shrugged at Hailey’s inquiry, stating, “Cami’s pretty cool. She didn’t grow up here so she’s a lot more worldly than I expected. We always have a lot to talk about.” Brianna hesitated, then added, “She just met her dad two years ago. She said it was hard for her at first. Can you imagine not knowing your dad until you’re thirteen years old?”

  “No. I’m glad you know yours.”

  “I am too. I—well, I might call him today. Okay?”

  Hailey wanted to grip her daughter’s hand and squeeze it. She almost sounded like a little girl when she asked, “Okay?” So rarely did she let her feelings out, especially with Hailey.

  “Of course, honey. Anytime you want to call him. He’ll be glad to hear from you.”

  “Will he?” Brianna asked softly. Hailey froze. Never before had Brianna shown any signs that she wondered if her dad wanted her. Or loved her. Or cared for her still. Was it just the same as always? His actions of late might have contradicted that, but to date, Brianna hadn’t expressed that she noticed or even felt it. It was a new reality and he was caught up in his new life, with his new wife, almost to the exclusion of his old life. Their life. Even his kids.

  Hailey bit down on her lower lip. She could not lie to Brianna; that would undermine any thawing towards her. Hailey said the wrong thing about seventy percent of the time. She almost wilted, thinking there was no way this wouldn’t escalate into a fight no matter what her reply.

  “I think he will be. I suppose he’s just as confused as we are, what with trying to ge
t used to our new lives.”

  But to her shock, Brianna didn’t sigh or roll her eyes or walk out. “He’s married now.”

  “Yes, honey, he is.” Brianna knew that glaring fact, but until then, hadn’t acknowledged it.

  “I didn’t want to be there or anything, but don’t you think it’s weird that he didn’t want me there?”

  Hailey’s arms ached to embrace her daughter. She had to clutch the counter edge to keep her body still and struggled with the impulse to comfort her hurting daughter. She knew Brianna didn’t want that, not right now. Hailey had to also withhold what she really thought of her ex-husband, since he was her kids’ father.

  “Maybe he just didn’t think you’d want to see it. You know? Perhaps he was sparing you?” Hailey knew it was a lame excuse and just as transparent to her ears as it had to have been to Brianna. No wonder the girl disdained her so.

  “Maybe. But it’s weird, right?”

  “It’s definitely weird,” Hailey finally agreed.

  Brianna got up and turned to leave, stopping dead at the doorway to her bedroom and flinging a glance over her shoulder toward Hailey. “You would never do that, would you?”

  Hailey wasn’t sure what she meant. Marry again and not invite her kids? Not even consult them? The desperate need for reassurance fairly dripped from her teen’s question. “No, sweetie, I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Good,” she mumbled from the doorway. Then she added softly. “I don’t want you to.”

  Hailey’s breath expelled slowly, and she blinked in shock. Brianna slammed her door shut almost as if she were mad, but strangely, for once, she wasn’t. Or flaming with indignity toward Hailey. Hailey nearly fell onto the bar stool with astonishment. Brianna needed her still. She trusted her still. And counted on her still. That’s why she took everything out on her, and spared her father. Brianna didn’t trust Brent anymore. He seemed to prefer his new life now and was no longer there for her. Brianna cherished his crumbs of attention and ignored his carelessness, because she was so scared to lose him totally. But her anger and resentment burned as hot as a nuclear core inside her. And it spilled out with the parent she trusted, the one who stayed there.