River's Lost (River's End #6) Read online

  River’s Lost

  by

  Leanne Davis

  River’s End Series, Book Six

  www.leannedavis.net

  Table of contents:

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Other Titles by Leanne Davis

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Epilogue

  Dear Reader

  My Other Titles

  About the Author

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  River’s Lost

  COPYRIGHT © 2017 by Leanne Davis

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  Contact Information: [email protected]

  Publishing History First Edition, 2017 Digital

  Digital ISBN: 978–1–941522–40–0

  River’s End Series, Book Six

  Edited by Teri at The Editing Fairy ([email protected])

  Copy Editing: [email protected]

  Cover Design by Steven Novak ([email protected])

  Dedication:

  Methow, Washington is the real location of my fictional River’s End. In the summer of 2014, the largest fire in Washington state history burned through it and decimated the valley my family had owned property in for forty years. Fortunately, the fire only touched the very tip of my family’s property before the wind shifted downriver and spared our land. We were so lucky and whenever I go there, as I stare at all the burned land surrounding our property, I am eternally grateful that the structures my grandfather built still stand today.

  Other Titles by Leanne Davis

  Diversions

  River’s End Series

  River’s End

  River’s Escape

  River’s Return

  River Road

  River on Fire

  River’s Lost

  The Sister Series

  The Other Sister

  The Years Between

  The Good Sister

  The Best Friend

  The Wrong Sister

  The Years After

  The Broken Sister

  The Perfect Sister

  Daughters Series

  Christina

  Natalie

  Melissa

  Emily

  The Zenith Trilogy

  Zenith Falling

  Zenith Rising

  Zenith Fulfilled

  The Seaclusion Series

  Poison

  Notorious

  Secrets

  Seclusion

  Chapter One

  NO! JOCELYN JANTZ SILENTLY screamed. Then another one. Only this time, she screamed out loud, “No! No! Nooooo!”

  The pain. Oh, God! It was excruciating. She’d read all about it. But no one could begin to describe this. She cringed and groaned through her agony. Trying to breathe. Trying to forget. Trying to deal with it. But she couldn’t. Beads of sweat broke out all over her forehead and trickled down her face. Tears pooled in her eyes and filled her eyelids. She leaned forward through all of it before tossing her head back and resting it on the ripped fabric of the couch. Her sense of imminent defeat threatened her confidence. Her fear was real, and it tasted like the coppery flavor of blood on her tongue.

  She couldn’t do this by herself. She was so scared. She needed help. Lots of it.

  But whom could she call?

  She knew. The only people who actually cared about her. Or at least, she could rely on their sense of decency to be sure they would come to anyone’s aid who needed it, even if it were her. But then… they’d know her secret. For real. And then? What if they…

  No, she could not call any of the Rydells.

  With the next contraction that ripped through her body, she cried tears and moaned as her entire body shuddered. It wasn’t supposed to be happening yet. She was all alone and stuck out there. She never foresaw this occurring. Why did the baby suddenly try to rip its way out of her abdomen without any warning? She thought she’d have time, plenty of it, to get to the hospital. She planned to allow herself ample time to deal with her contractions under the watchful eyes of doctors and nurses.

  Yesterday morning, she felt the first pains. She went to the hospital but they told her to go back home because she was having something called Braxton Hicks contractions. Bottom line to Jocelyn was that she hadn’t been in true labor, and therefore, couldn’t really be in any pain. She ground and gnashed her teeth over the next twenty–four hours as the stupid Braxton Hicks contractions kept her awake. Over and over, they pushed her threshold of pain to its limit. She winced every time she wondered how she could handle true labor if she couldn’t bear the fake contractions. She’d just fail at that like she had failed at so many other attempts in life. But… there were so many women who successfully went through it and didn’t fail. She wasn’t all that special. But why did it hurt so much? Like a fire being set inside her. She gripped her swollen belly as another cramp seized her body and made her lean her head back while she screamed out loud.

  That one couldn’t have been fake. It just couldn’t. When the tightening squeezed her lungs in half, she waited until it finally eased before she crawled over to the phone. No cell phones worked in the remote area where she lived. She had only a landline that was connected to the wall. The closest people to her, the ones who hadn’t been totally burned out from the fire last summer, were the Rydells. Many of the residents never returned after the fire. The giant Rydell ranch property spread out over the valley below where she lived. Her cabin, or rather, shack, was perched way up in the hills above it. There was not a soul visible for miles from where the small shack clung to its foundation in the middle of the mountain.

  The phone rang and she moaned as a new pain started to crest. Erin. Allison. Kailynn. Please, God. Please, let one of them answer.

  But no such luck. It was a man. And none other than Jack Rydell who answered the phone. She had called the main ranch number, the one they formerly used for the resort, which burned down in the fire’s path, and now wasn’t open.

  “Jack?” she gasped out before lifting the phone away as an excruciation pain managed to steal her breath and voice. She cried out loud in a heartrending wail.

  “Hello? Hello? Who is this calling? What’s going on?”

  “It’s J–Jocelyn…” Another one. “P–p–please…h–h–h…elp me,” she squeaked out before an overwhelming contraction compelled her to grab her belly again. She dropped the phone and curled up in agonizing fear. Oh, God. Was she dying? Was something bleeding out inside her? There had to be a reasonable explanation for her to feel so bad. Why couldn’t she seem to gain control? Why did she have to writhe on the floor in pain all alone? Far from any help or support and no clue of what she should be doing.

  Real terror started to consume her. Women did still die during childbirth. Sometimes, freak things happened and the woman simply died. She was all alone.
She had to be in labor, or at least she thought she was, and nobody else could know. There was no one to help her. There never had been really, which was cool to Jocelyn. She took care of herself. Always had. Always could, or so she once believed.

  Until this… happened.

  The terror she felt now, at this moment, was exponentially worse than the moment she learned she was pregnant. Unplanned of course. Unwanted too, so she walked around in a daze for several weeks. What would she do about the baby?

  “Ben…!”

  Screaming his name from her lips, she didn’t know if she were enunciating it out of her present need, or want, or longing, or fear. Perhaps it was hatred and repulsion. Maybe she would seek revenge for what he’d done to her and left her to deal with alone. Alone. Squirming in pain like an injured animal left to die on this dirty, dusty floor. How long did she have to wait before anyone found her? How much longer did she have to endure this cruel anguish?

  The fear of losing her baby and dying, then lying there for days or weeks, made her turn to her side as she clutched her swollen belly. Oh, God! She shouldn’t have stayed at the shack. No. Big mistake.

  But then… where else could she go?

  Closing her eyes, the acuteness of the pain relaxed into a dull throb. She fell exhausted on her back. Lying there with her knees up as far as her bulk would allow, hot tears streamed from her eyes, falling onto the floor below her. She was too exhausted and too famished to even care what became of her now. She hoped she could just drift off and succumb to her exhaustion, letting it take her away.

  Did she sleep? She wasn’t sure. She seemed to be in and out of consciousness, or so she thought.

  What was that?

  A noise. A vehicle! She jerked and tried to sit up but the pain attacked her again.

  Yes. It was a car engine. Stopping, and shutting off. And she even heard a door slamming.

  Footsteps and then loud banging on the front door. Thankfully, a voice yelled out with firm authority and concern, “Jocelyn? What the hell is going on in there?”

  Jack.

  She closed her eyes. Squeezing her eyelids together harder, she thought, Oh God, Jack came.

  “Jack…” she called out. Her voice was weak, and her chapped lips cracked and bled as she opened them to call him.

  Silence; then the door jingled, but it was locked. Shit. She shouldn’t have locked it. But… no. Jack smashed the front door open. If she could have mustered the energy, she would have, no doubt, cheered him on.

  But she wasn’t okay.

  Jack was there. He stopped dead for a moment in the doorway when he spotted her. Then… he was instantly on his knees beside her, his hands kindly supporting her back. “Jocelyn. Oh, God… you’re not all right. Oh, God.”

  Help. Someone was finally there at last. Something inside her released. She wouldn’t die alone. That thought gave her the strength to hold on. She wasn’t alone anymore. She didn’t realize how much his being there meant to her.

  But then…

  “Damn it, girl. You’re having a baby. Why didn’t you tell us?” Jack was rushing all around. First, he tried his cell phone. She was too tired to tell him it wouldn’t work. Then he was on her landline, calling for help. Screaming into the receiver, he commanded whomever was on the other end to respond. His voice was filled with fear and panic. She understood. She felt that way too.

  She remembered how Jack was always so kind to her. Ever since she was just a kid, he’d been generous to her. He gave her a job and riding lessons for free. And let her hang out at the ranch as often as she showed up. He didn’t know why she came so regularly. He also didn’t know about things like Cutter Johnson, and why she so desperately needed to get away from her own “home.” But Jack let her stay there all the same.

  His hands gently touched her cheek and her forehead. Was he checking for fever? Maybe. Then he clutched her shoulders in a kind of hug. “You’ll be okay, honey. We’ll… we’ll take care of you. I’m sorry to warn you, but I think I’m going to have to get real personal with you and real fast. Erin’s on her way. But I’m not sure that will help. I’m not sure there’s enough time. Allison… she’s on the line. She’s done this before. She’s gonna talk us through this. Okay? You’ll be okay.”

  She could have sworn he gulped when she suddenly grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed it hard as the unparalleled pain shot through her again. She squeezed his hand until his bones nearly fractured. Moaning and groaning, bullets of sweat broke out all over her skin and streams of tears rolled down her cheeks as she gritted her teeth. She was crying out like an animal, making strange grunts through her mouth.

  Vaguely, somewhere in her mind far away, she heard Jack talking on the phone. His gentle hands touched her again, but were hesitant. She could almost feel his anxiety as he started to help her out of the sweats, which were the only pants that still fit her. “I’m sorry, Jocelyn, but I need to help you right now.”

  She nodded, closing her eyes, uncaring what Jack saw. Clinging to his voice and his presence, all modesty fell to the wayside. She wasn’t alone. She wasn’t alone. She wasn’t alone.

  Then it happened. And so fast, she couldn’t prepare herself for it.

  “Oh, motherfucker,” Jack muttered softly once he realized what was happening. Then his voice grew louder and more panicked as he jumped back and screamed into the phone, “Oh, shit. Allison! I can see the baby’s head.”

  She reached towards him, silently pleading him not to abandon her then. But he wouldn’t have. He came right back and turned her over onto her back, saying gently now, “I’ll be right back. Gotta get a towel and some water… Just don’t move.”

  She might have considered smiling her appreciation in response if the situation weren’t so lethal in her mind.

  When she felt the cool water on her forehead, she opened her eyes. His compassionate eyes stared down at her as he said, “Okay, Jocelyn, we’re going to do this and do it right. Nothing I can’t handle. I’ve delivered dozens of foals before. How different could it be?”

  Finally, a tight smile tugged at her mouth. He waited until she slowly nodded her agreement.

  She was miserable. The pain didn’t relent and it didn’t get any easier. But her fear subsided, allowing her to find a new level of pain tolerance. The energy she thought was long depleted and buried suddenly resurged through her. Jack helped by talking to her and guiding her. He was her private nurse, doctor, mother, and coach.

  Halfway through the ordeal, the front door burst open and Erin entered. Looking every bit as harried and wild as Jack, she pressed her lips together and went right to work assisting them, and taking over the more intimate details. Jack had already disconnected Allison and called 911, who forwarded his call to a doctor. And an ambulance was on the way. There was an ambulance coming for her!

  She might not die after all.

  But no one arrived in time.

  She gave birth on the floor of the shack.

  It all ceased to matter. Every single tear, scream, pain and mess of the experience all faded and dissolved when Jocelyn heard her baby cry. The healthy newborn cry of her baby. Erin held the baby in her hands and tears streamed down both their faces as they stared in wonder at the miracle. This tiny creature that seemed to magically emerge from her body, never mind how it nearly ripped her in half.

  “It’s a baby girl. You have a daughter. You did it! You did it, Jocelyn. She’s a perfect baby girl.”

  There was a rather disturbing, ugly goo all over the baby. Blood and a strange, white substance that Jocelyn didn’t recognize covered her daughter. Something her body must have created. Flopping back, she was exhausted but grateful as she smiled up at the ceiling. She floated mentally out of the shack and the sad circumstances of her life, so lost in the magic and wonder of her daughter’s birth. She was no longer in the tiny hovel, but somewhere else. Somewhere beautiful. Somewhere special. She was beyond all those things that bothered her before, and all because she had this baby.
r />   Erin came over to her, clasping her hand and pulling her hair back from her sweaty face. “You’re okay, honey. You’re okay. Help just arrived.”

  Chaos ensued. The headlights and warning lights of the ambulance made weird twirling reflections on the interior of the room. People she did not even know knelt beside her, finishing what Jack and Erin started. They put an IV in her hand and attended to her body. After wiping her baby clean, they placed her on Jocelyn’s chest.

  Minutes went by as the professionals treated their patient proficiently. It was so calming to watch them. She might not die from childbirth. She actually believed it now as they gave her fluids and medicine while checking the vital signs of her baby. Even her bruised and battered vagina received proper attention.

  Then everything was calmer. She lay on the gurney. Ready to be taken to the hospital. The Rydells stayed right there with her, and Erin kept hold of her hand while comforting her like a mother would. Jocelyn didn’t know, since she didn’t remember too much about her mother. Erin was too young to be that for her. They were maybe only a decade apart in ages, but right now, she felt like curling up against Erin’s chest. She thought she might find the help, affection, and understanding she’d been denied for her entire life. Which again, was cool. She wasn’t a touchy–feely girl who needed shit like that normally. But… maybe right now, she did. She hated to admit she wanted that. So much fear and shock for the day left her dazed and unsure of what happened to her. She shook off her perceived need for parental caring. She knew it was not in the cards for her.

  Until… until she looked into Jack’s eyes.

  He was staring at the newly cleaned baby she held. All wrapped up, now it seemed too civilized compared to the last hour… and all the others before that. All that primal, dirty, blood and guts was the epitome of life and all it entailed. Not sweet–smelling blankets and a rosy–hued baby.

  Then Jack lifted his stunned eyes to hers and she met his gaze. Her eyes grew big and fearful. Somehow… he knew. How? Her tired brain could not figure out how he knew. How did he guess?